Under the Gray Willow Tree

Chapter 30

My eyes nearly bulged out of its sockets. I stared at the man, my mouth gaped slightly open, dumbfounded. Did he just say what I think he just said? I'm starting to wonder if my ears are deceiving me or not.

"Can you repeat that?" I blurted out.

I could swear that I saw amusement twinkle in Gray's eyes. But once again – as always – I can't be sure of it because it disappeared almost as quickly as it came: in the blink of an eye.

"You know exactly what I said, don't make me repeat it," he replied calmly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I have no idea how he is still able to keep his calm, because even though he is the one who should be panicky and worried and scared and guilty, I am the one feeling all of these emotions. They are all stirring up from inside of me.

"What?" I nearly yelled at the top of my voice, but I managed to refrain myself from doing so.

I immediately sank down to my knees and hugged them while rocking myself back and forth. Uncountable droplets of tears started rolling endlessly down my face, which resulted into me crying my heart out for the second time that day. Or more specifically, I started crying my heart out for the second time in an hour.

Today is just way too emotional. For me anyway; I'm not so sure about Gray though. These are all just way too much for me to absorb in merely a day.

It's just too much for me.

And suddenly, anger and disappointment started boiling inside of me like waer in a kettle. And that was when it hit me.

That was what made me realize something. Something that I have figured out for quite a while already, but is just too scared to admit it. Something big. Something risky. Something I should've admitted from earlier on already.

And that is the fact that I don't trust Gray.

He has been keeping one too many secrets from me. I've figured out some, or rather, he admitted some. But I am pretty sure that it's safe to say that he is hiding a lot more from me. A lot more than I can imagine.

I am sure that he has his own reasons for them. But I don't like it. Isn't a relationship supposed to be built on faith and trust? That's the foundation of a relationship isn't it? But as of right now, the foundation for our relationship has just been broken.

"What are you hiding from me?" I asked, surprising even myself at how brave I had just made myself sound.

I looked up Nd squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as possible so that all the tears that were collected there will trickle down my face. His eyes darted all around the place, avoiding my eye contact, as I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my hand.

But despite the fact that he didn't want to look me in the eye, I continued looking at him, my eyes clearly demanding for answers from him.

"What else are you trying to hide huh?" I asked again, my voice softer this time, almost a whisper, but firmer and colder than before, if that is even possible.

He shook his head as if trying to say 'no' or nothing. But I don't buy it. I don't believe him. So, I did the one lone thing that seemed sensible to me at the moment.

"Get out."

He looked shocked to hear what I had just said. But he should have seen that coming. The shock that was written all over his face disappeared quickly, and his face became emotionless once more.

How he still managed to remain emotionless when my very own emotions are overflowing right now is a total mystery, especially to me. But then again, I have never really been able to control my emotions.

Without saying a single word, he turned his heel and headed towards the exit. He took hold of the doorknob and wrenched the door open. He put a foot out, and then the other foot until he was totally out of my apartment.

However, he paused before he could pull the door back shut, he turned to look at me.

"You don't need to hide it Willow; it's written all over your face. I know you're disappointed and I know you hate me for what I had just did, but I hope you know that this is the best for everyone."

He paused for a moment. Or maybe he hesitated. I can't tell. But he looked as if he was trying to think.

"Just so you know, but I'm pretty sure that you've already figured this out, but the game we play between us is over. So, I guess this is goodbye. But I have a strong hunch that we are going to see each other again real soon."

And with that, he slammed the door shut so loudly that I flinched. And then, I just stood the stupidly, dazed at what he had just said.

Best for everyone? Best for everyone? How was lying to me the nest for everyone? Doesn't he know that relationships are built on trust? And by lying to me big time, he had just broke that little trust I still had in him.

Well, he didn't exactly lie. He just withheld the the truth from me; which is pretty much worst than lying.

I still do not understand what he was trying to say. How was doing what he did good in any way? If anything, it was hurting.

What he did was hurting everyone.

It must've hurt him for not telling me... At least, I hope it did. If it didn't, something is wrong with our relationship already.

As if there were no problems in the first place.

What he did hurt out relationship. It hurter trust we had in each other. It hurt the hope that I had in him. It hurt the hope that I had in my life. But most of all, it hurt me.

So, how is this in any way, he said and I quote, 'the best for everyone'? It just doesn't make any sense at all!

I walked backwards and fell onto the sofa. And I just sat there, with no intention of getting up, deep in thought. There's just too many to think about. With everything that's going on slash had just happened, you'd think that that fact is pretty obvious already!

Right in front at my face, waiting for me to grab it.

But you know what? It's not.

There's nothing 'obvious' at all about this situation. It's all just way too complicated for my own liking. Can't things just be less complicated by any chance? There's just too many complicated things in this world of ours.

Why must this be?

Why can't we just live a simple life?

This is the kind of situations where you would have to make a very important choice that would determine your path of life. The type of situation where you're stopping at a crossroad in the path of life.

And the worst thing is that there's an easy route out of all these. And that is to just run.

And with all these going on in my head, I forgot what Gray had said. I forgot that he said 'the game we play between us is over'.

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Sorry for the short chapter yeah? XDD Anyways, Imma gonna chat with my friends now, so bye! Til next time!