||. Jenny Solo, pretty proud of this tbh. I love her SM. Someone fucking protect her god damn it. 😦💔🌈
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"Naked to the eye, bruised to the bone, how can she continue, feeling like she can only drown, stuck in bad energy, not able to escape, no way out, not able to find a way to get away from her fate.
So much hatred directed to her, under such disillusions shes like alive and breathing bait, she ran away from a life of nightmares and years of tears, a decade of being scared and strangled by peoples cries for her to stop talking about that thing that couldnt ever be talked about.
That thing that ate her up inside, the thing that destroyed her life. The blind chose ignorance but she chose truth, no matter how hard it was, no matter if she had to leave everyone and everything behind. No matter if the memories where the things that in the end.. put her in the ground.
Though its too much to take on, for such a damaged mind, not able to comprehend, all the things that happened to her back then. Nightmares never stopped, the memories became clearer, its a fight between good and bad, but the demons swimming around in her head makes everything so sad, forces the mad to win, the terrible to come out, the angry to hide behind sarcasm and the happiness to crawl back inside and disappear.
Disappear like the new life she hoped would save her, disappeared like the friends she hoped would see her, see her for her and not how she plays out, see jenny for jenny and not this mean mess of hidden sorrow camouflaged by the things she says and does to escape the underlying fact of her heart breaking fate.
No one saw it, no one saw past the cards she played. Every cut from her blade made her feel more brave, every tear she cried made her feel more alive, everything she smashed made her slowly burn and eventually crash, a goal she had once it all got too much, once the dreams got too intense, once the day became harder to smile. Everyone turning their back made jenny explode in agonizing pain, even though she was bringing it all on herself, it was like sticking a knife in her heart and twisting it till the handle broke off of the blade. A life of loneliness isnt a life at all, not what jenny ever wanted, not what she ever planned. She just wish someone could look at her and really know, really see all the pain shes holding inside and tell her that life will be okay. It will get better, bad things do happen and that they would be there for her, wipe away all her tears, she just wish someone could look in her eyes and know how hard she tried, how hard she tried to escape the sad fate she new she would have since she was a child, how hard she tried to pull it all together, to pull herself together, but in the end the demons won, shunned by her peers the paralysing pain took over and the choice she had was only one.. goodbye sweet world."
