peaky blinders imagines + smut.

michael gray: distance.

DISTANCE.

The sound of the front door being opened should have made you smile at the fact that your husband had arrived home but the only feeling you got was dread. Michael had become a different man since returning home from his stint in prison. No long did he return home and greet you with a kiss and ask about your day. Instead, a cold stare was thrown in your direction, his enlarged pupils grabbing your attention from the drugs he had been snorting since the morning sunrise. He knew that he was treating you dreadfully, there was no late-night talks, drinks at the local pubs or discussions about business like there used to be - just unhappiness and silence.

Michael would not acknowledge it, not even to himself, but the feeling of the tight rope around his neck still haunted his thoughts. The look on John and Arthur's face was still fresh in his mind, not even the drugs and booze could take it away. Almost every day, he would return home and brush you off as if you were nobody important but deep down, Michael wanted nothing more but to be in your arms which he saw as a sign of feebleness. Polly was already at breaking point and barely getting by, Michael had no time to think about the thoughts that lingered in his mind.

The dinner that you had cooked for Michael sat on the table, untouched by the two of you, as you stared ahead at the wall behind Michael. The steam that radiated from the untouched dinner ascended into the air, mixing in with the awkward tension that lived in the shared house.

"I went around to see your mum earlier," you said, eyes never meeting his. "I took her some food round and did some cleaning." Michael remained quiet as he leisurely smoked his cigarette. His eyes held deep secrets and no longer shined bright like they did when he first arrived at Small Heath. He was becoming more and more like Tommy every day which scared you more than anything. "I tried to get the pills away from her, but it was no use. She just yelled and screeched at me before kicking me out of the house."

Michael closed his eyes and shrugged his shoulders before finally talking for the first time in what felt like weeks. "She doesn't mean it." The words that he spoke were simple but enough to bring some sort of optimism to your miserable state.

"Yes, I know. It's just disturbing to see. She asked about you and I told her that you were working a lot more than usual, that didn't go down well either."

"She will get over it, me mum always does. One day she will realise that this family needs her more than anything and she will come back."

You rolled your eyes before exhaling loudly which earned the attention of Michael. He knew that he was being a dickhead with you but there was too much going on at work with the strikes and in his head. Since coming back from prison, he had become destructive and he didn't want to drop all his issues on you as you were struggling just as much.

"I don't think she can get over this without your help. I know she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore but maybe, just maybe, a conversation with Tommy would do her some good. He knows your mum better than anybody and would be able to talk some sense into her but - "

"I'm sorry." The words lingered in the air for a few minutes before Michael coughed awkwardly, almost as if he didn't mean to say it.

You raised your eyebrows before stifling a laugh. "What are you sorry about?"

"I've just been an awful person lately - " Michael raised his hand when you went to speak, motioning that he wanted to continue with his rant. "I know what you are like and you'll try to deny it but it's the truth. I haven't been at home much and when I have been, it's as if I'm not even there. Just had a lot of my plate and I've been taking it out on you all the time. They've started talking about holding strikes at the factories and then there's this whole business with - "

The sound of your chair scrapping across the floor shut Michael up for a brief second before he continued to speak. All the while, you moved slowly until you were sat on Michael's lap. You thought that he would move you away after weeks of having no contact but to your astonishment, he wrapped his arms around your waist and brought you closer.

"Just been a dickhead, an absolute dickhead."

You leaned down and pressed a kiss against the top of Michael's head. It felt as if the world had been lifted off your shoulders as Michael finally confessed to his issues. "Why have you been keeping all of this from me? I'm supposed to be your wife, but I feel like a failure because I can't help you with anything."

"That's my fault, not yours. I'm here now, yeah?" Michael placed before of his hands on your cheeks and smiled up at you, "Tomorrow, we will go to me mums and help her out a bit and then me and you can go out for dinner."

"Are we actually going to eat the food or are we just going to sit across from each other and stare at nothing?" you asked, laughing gently afterwards.

Michael peered up at you before smirking. "We can do a lot more talking."