FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

14.

"You don't.  Where do you get these ideas?!"  He gets closer, softening his voice for once, which makes me turn back around to, shamefully, look at him again.

"Steeve..."

"I should get back there and break his skull!"  He walks to the bed in a hurry to take a pillow and throw it against the wall with anger.  What is happening!?

"Marcel!  Why are you being so aggressive?  It's OK, it's over..."  I walk over to him and put a hand on his back reassuringly.

"It isn't, Grace.  You still see yourself as how he wanted you to.  You are not disgusting, stop believing that."

"Alright, I won't.  Just calm down.  He doesn't deserve your anger."  I whisper as my hand rubs circles on his back to help him to oblige.  He has no idea how these simple words mean si much to me right now.  I want to hug him so hard right now, but I stop myself to not messeverything up again.

"Just like he doesn't deserve to make you feel like shit."  I roll my eyes and sigh, he is right.

He turns to the side slowly, being perpendicular to me, and looks right into my eyes.  I feel his hand on my cheek which surprises me, I wince before I realise what he is doing. He looks down at my mouth and runs now his thumb on the cut on my lower lip.  I remember how hard I had bit it to cut it that bad.

"He hurt you.  He shouldn't have hit you."  He says bitterly and gets his hand off me.

"We don't solve violence with violence, Marcel.  It's over now.  I want to thank you for being there for me.  You could have not cared, but you do.  Thank you."  I slowly say to him as I feel him calm down under my hand on his back.

"I am just doing the right thing..."  He murmurs and I feel tremendously happy mostly because he doesn't stop me from caressing his back.  I feel his muscles relax under my hand.  I look up at him carefully, asking for permission.

I get closer and closer to him, very slowly, dancing way too close to his limits.  I risk it and sneak my other arm around his waist to hug him again.  He says nothing, so I mould my body to his, pressing my head back to his chest.  It's so silent in the room that I can hear the sound of his heart inside of his rib cage.  Loud, but slow poundings.  I think about letting him go when his arms move against me.  I let him embrace me back and melt against him a short moment.  He holds me so strongly against him with an arm as his other hand presses my head tighter to him, almost protectively. 

I have never felt safer in my life. 

I nuzzle my nose against his shirt and breath him in.  His cologne has a strong scent of wood which makes me remember the wall of lugs Dad kept in the basements and all the fires we did in the fireplace when I was young.  It comforts me instantly.  I am ravishing more than I should between his arms.

"You smell good."  I let out, which comes out as a kind of moan and it makes me feel very awkward, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"It's my perfume."  He only responds, still holding me with more strength than expected.

"I know."  I smile against him, happy he doesn't want to let go already.

"It was a gift."

"You could have just said thank you..."  I smirk at him wider by the second as he lets out a surprising chuckle and lets me go to look into my eyes.

"Thank you."  He smiles at me for the first time today.

I seem to get lost in this moment, looking back at him, and I surprise myself to wish he would kiss me, but I know that he won't or would want to.  I am just happy he is here at all.  I don't know why I seem to want to get physical with him.  It's not like I am attracted to him -- OK, he is pretty... Gorgeous, even. Stop denying it, he is fucking hot!-- but he is so cold and unreadable at times.  I don't get why I would be risking the only thing I got left, my book, by attempting to get some sugar from my editor.  I mean...  The guy is inaccessible.  He is in his shell and he doesn't let anyone in.  I don't know what I thought last night...  Last night.