The Runaway Bride

Chapter 20 -- Final Goodbye

I'm not the type to get my heart broken or the type to get upset and cry because I never leave my heart open for anyone nor anybody in that case.



It was never hard to say goodbye for the mere reason that relationships don’t dig deep to me and I don’t even let myself to get too attach.





I never got the whole in love thing even when I was a teenager and when someone can say they love me truly for me it didn't mean a thing

When did it happen? when we first met? When we first kissed? I asked my self once again

 




Because honestly, it's hurting me to let it go, maybe because we spent so much time and company with him.





I should've never let you hold me, Tyler

I didn't give to him on purpose I can't even figure out how he manage to go deep and stole my heart. I never meant to let it get so personal and after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving him







I still find my self asking
How did I get here with you, how will I'll ever know?

But now, My mind is gone, I'm spinning round and deep inside, my tears I'll drown.I'm starting to lose a grip. I don’t even know what's happening anymore

So this is how a broken heart feels like

For the first time it felt different. It felt like, I was just a victim and it cut me like a knife whenTylerwalked out of my life

Now I'm, in this condition and I seem to got all the symptoms of a woman with a broken heart but no matter what you'll never see me cry. Not now, not ever.







But what is this hot liquid streaming down my cheeks? Why does it feel like every part of me hurts?







“Diane?! Okay ka lang ba?” I recognized that voice, it was my mother knocking from the other side of the door.






“Kanina ka pa dyan sa shower, are you okay, hija?”








“I’m.. Fine, Mom!” I said. My voice came in short and was hoarse, hoping they wouldn’t recognize how pathetic I am right now, I stood still under the shower and continued sobbing









“Hija?! I’m coming in whether you like ….”







I didn’t hear the next thing my mom said, I was so consumed with how I felt as of the moment. Too preoccupied with the thought of him and his other, sharing a bed .. kissing, snuggling






Just thinking about it made my stomach cringed with disgust.







“Oh my God! Diane!” Exclaimed by my mother
“Georgina,  por favor la toalla .. Diane, Hija .. Anong nangyari?”






I couldn’t make out the slightest sound of my voice nor could I see them clearly. My vision was spinning.






My heart was giving out, beating to some convoluted rhythm, trying it's best to pump blood to my body and failing miserably in its fragile attempts.







“Shhh.. Hija” My mom tried her best to calm me down, rubbing my back and saying it’ll be soon be okay








My head pounding from the lack of oxygen flowing to my brain. My muscles tearing from the edges of what it felt like a broken bones ripping through them.







There were people yelling my name, but I was so close to the edge. So close to saying sorry to Tyler. To telling him how much I loved him, to take me back;  while telling me that he hadn't meant to do this to me.








"Kill me!" I yelled up to the air, searching for god in the clouds. So I could ask him why he let me be if this is all he meant for my life to become.







Why let me live in such miserable life?








"Why!" I sobbed hoping he would hear my shrieks. “Why?!?" my body racked as my broken heart felt like stabbed into my flesh, "Just let me die!"