Sharpie Stains [n.s]

twenty✍ (TW)

trigger warning // self harm

 this chapter will include 

- mentions and acts of self harm 

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT CAN BE DANGEROUS TO YOURSELF AND MENTAL HEALTH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I DON'T WANT TO RISK IT, I WILL PERSONALLY MESSAGE YOU ABOUT WHAT THE CHAPTER IS ABOUT IF YOU NEED/WANT ME TO. 

Niall knew when he woke up in the middle of the night with the itching desire to do it, he couldn't make it go away. So silently he got out of bed and locked his door before making his way over to his dresser, his mind was a fuzzy mess as he searched through the top drawer, usually at times like this he was frantic and hysterical, but he wasn't. It scared him, but at the same time he had done this countless times before. A small smile tugged on Niall's lips when his fingers brushed against the cool metal of the box that laid hidden under the clothes in his drawer. 

Gently Niall took out the box from the drawer before setting it on his bed, the contents inside made a shiver run up Niall's spine, several lighters, rubber bands, blades, and mail openers were inside. The thought of what Niall was about to do made him sick, but Liam's words kept repeating inside of his head. 

Are you sure it was an accident?

Niall picked up a blade. 

Are you sure it was an accident?

Tears began to stream down Niall's face. 

Are you sure it was an accident?

Niall began to press the blade into the skin of his thigh, and he kept doing this until six  sloppy cuts were now apart of his body. 

----

In the living room Harry sat talking on the phone, "I dunno Lou, it's not my fault!" 

"Harry, I mean-you were only supposed to be staying with him, how in the hell did you manage to start to fancy him?" 

Harry went to speak but was cut off, "wait, can they track this phone because I swear if your dumb ass-" 

"No, they can't." Harry sighed running a hand through his hair, jumping up when he heard a door open. 

"Shit, Louis I'll call you later, bye." Quickly Harry hung off and shoved the phone in his pocket, just as Niall entered the living room. 

"Hey-" Harry cut himself off as he saw Niall's tear stained eyes, "are, are you okay?" Harry asked slowly, Niall faked a smile before nodding, "accidentally cut my finger." Niall spoke before lifting his bandage finger. 

"And it made you start crying?" When Niall nodded again, Harry decided to drop the subject, not fully believing him. 

Maybe in time Harry would manage to get Niall to tell him what was wrong, but right now it wasn't his place.