Am I real?

Matthew

I sit at the table, picking at my pancakes. Alfred eats his egg mcmuffin very quickly in front of me. I can't eat. I have a lonely feeling in my stomach, leaving no room for food.

I have to go to school today, a place where I sit alone and talk to myself. Even if Gilbert decides to try and hang out with me, I don't want to be near him.

I'm an idiot. How can I think that he will ever think of me in a way more than friends? Even after I yelled at him yesterday..... I probably ruined any chance I had of possible being in a relationship with him.

I move my plate and hit my head onto the table repeatedly

"Mattie, dude, you OK?" He stops eating and looks at you

"No"

"What happened?"

"Life"

"Oh. OK." He resumes eating, not pressuring for real answers.

Alfred leaves after he finishes his breakfast.

Matthew usually has Alfred drive him to school. But today he walked. He hides his head as he walks past Gil's house. He breaks into a run the moment he sees Gilbert and Ludwig open the door.

The Canadian arrives at school put of breath.

Very short, but at least it isn't that shitty.

But it is still pretty shitty