John Laurens X Reader: Forgiveness? I can't imagine...

'Chapter 5: Maybe...Just maybe'

(At the end there is a conversation where I didn't use he said or I said. So this is a key:

John: "..."
Y/N: "..." 

Okay, just wanted to say that, K enjoy!)

Y/N's P.O.V

The grey cat I was holding was softly purring as I walked to the dorm. "...I'll call you Lexy." I smiled as she kept purring. Finally I reached the dorm. I opened the door and immediately saw John on the couch, typing away on his laptop. I closed the door and John did hear that. He turned around with a smile, which soon turned into a scared face.

He jumped up, nearly breaking his laptop on the ground as he got as high as he could and as much in a corner as she could. "WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!" He yelled as he pointed at Lexy. "Er...A cat. You know, like the pet." I explained confused. 

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! WHY IS IT HERE?!" He yelled back as he crept more in that corner. "Because she's homeless." I answered simply. "WAIT! ITS MOVING IN?!" He yelled back looking at me, sweat dripping of his face. 

"Yeah...Are you scarred of cats?" I asked as he froze. "W-What?" He asked slightly insulted. I smirked and got on the couch holding Lexy at arm length of me and in the direction of John. "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!" He yelled again.

"Awww, is Johnny scared of a little kitty cat?" I asked as I got it closer to him. "NO, NO, NO L/N, GET THE F*CK AWAY!" He yelled as I began to laugh. He frowned as he hissed at the cat as hard as he could and the cat jumped out my arms. 

He then growled at me as I softly and awkwardly laughed. He jumped off the couch and began to walk back and forth as he tried to keep himself from murdering me. 5 minutes in and I had grabbed my laptop to continue my project. Lexy had come out again and sat on my lap as she softly purred.

After a solid 20 minutes he fell down on his bed and groaned. "You done?" I asked as I looked up at him. "Yeah." He sighed as he didn't move an inch. After an hour or 5 I decided to close my laptop and go to sleep. John had grabbed his laptop and typed away on his bed. He looked at me then at the clock.

"10 pm. You're gonna sleep?" He asked me as I grabbed my PJ's from my closet to go and change in the bathroom. "Yup." I answered pretty coldly. "Welp, I'm heading to the bar." He said as he closed his laptop and put his shoes on. "See ya." He said as he grabbed his keys for once and left. 

I sighed and just put my PJ's on and ate some instant noodles. After that, I brushed my teeth and went to bed. Lexy came sleeping next to me and we both fell asleep due to being very tired. It was around 11 pm when we did so.

An hour maybe 5 later I was awoken by the creaky door. I groaned and rolled to my side. The door clicked close and I felt the darkness fall in the room again. For a solid 15 minutes I heard shuffling things and doors open and close until someone fell into their bed, reeking of rum and beer. I cringed at the smell and hid under the covers.

~The next morning~

I was in the classroom of creative writing and we were assigned to write a short story about a Greek myth. Modernize it and make the consequences of cet action be real. Like Zeus who be playing 100 women and hasn't just divorced Hera to become a wh*re. 

(Blame my Greek teacher everyone, blame, her.)

This was an assignment which was connected with the Greek classes. I happily chose the myth about Perseus. There is so much sh*t that I can write about in that story.

(If you want to know how it goes, there is this very talented girl on youtube who does a great job to explain it and make it funny! Here's the video:

Go watch it! No I'm serious. Go and watch it.)

So, I decided to make it that Zeus actually does get thrown in jail, as does Acrisius. Finally revenge will be mine after so many years of listing to this myth. Zeus will be in jail.

...

I don't have a problem.

(Yeah, me neither)

So when I was almost done with the first page, the bell rang. "Okay students, we will continue this tomorrow." The teacher said as everyone began to leave. John and I hang out as we walked to our classes but that was it. I still didn't trust him. As I ate lunch with Peggy she kept talking about this fanfic she had written about me and John.

I only kept listening because I was her friend.

(All readers: Uh-huh...)

After school I expected to just go home and type for the projects I was assigned to but, life had other plans-

"Coffee?" I repeated as a certain freckled person looked at me. "Yeah! Just to get some coffee." He confirmed. I sighed but I already felt the caramel coffee latte on my tongue. "Sure...Sure why not?" I asked as he smiled. 

So we walked to the local Starbucks, filled with hipsters and people who are making assignments on their laptops or even notebooks. We ordered what we wanted and sat down. 

"So you're always asking me: Why I chose writing and why I chose to follow you and...Why I chose to bully you back then...Can I ask you something?" John asked as I looked up from stirring my hot coffee with the green straw provided by the cashier. 

I sighed as I looked inside my cup. "Ask away, its fair." I sighed as he looked at me. 

"What motivated you to become a writer?" He asked me as I stopped stirring. 

"W-What?" I asked to make sure I heard what I heard. "Why did you chose to become a writer. I mean, it sure wasn't your dream when we were in high school or even middle school?" He asked as I tensed up.

"I always remember that you fancied being a doctor or even a math or science teacher." He said. "When you always talked about it in those essays of: 'What would you want to become'...What happened in those years that you moved?" He asked as I sighed.

"Nothing..." I muttered.

"Nothing is never an answer." He immediately responded. "Yeah it is. What's 0? Nothing." I mumbled stirring in the cup making swirly designs. "Y/N." He said which made me tense up even more. 

"What happened?" He asked me. "Its nothing-"

"Oh yeah? Because what I am looking at seems perfectly normal-" 

"Shut up-"

"If there was a reason that you liked writing in the past, I would've known it-

"Shut. Up-"

"You seem awfully persistent for someone who says its nothing-"

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up-" I began to say as he talked over me.

"Y/N there must've been something, ANYTHING! You seemed so stressed about it and can see it. What changed your mind to become a writer? I told you everything you wanted to know about me! So why is it that you don't want to answer anything about-"

"WRITING WAS THE ONLY THING IN LIFE THAT WAS KEEPING ME FROM KILLING MYSELF THOSE 3 YEARS!!! I WAS DEPRESSED! BIG TIME! OKAY?!" I yelled as John stopped speaking and looked at me with wide eyes.

"I! ...I...You and the rest made me depressed...I was fine a few weeks ago. I had just gotten out of it. Then I hear that you're my roommate and-a-and...I don't know what my life is anymore! Suddenly YOU want to be friend with me and even told me, you, LOVED me...I'm confused and lost okay! That's it! That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it?" I asked as John stood there wordless.

Everyone around us in Starbucks looked at us as I stood there panting from how much I had yelled. "I'm leaving...Thanks for the coffee." I mumbled as I grabbed my stuff and left.