The love story of life and death (On Going And Editing)

Chapter 5

Christian

I was not fascinated by stars, they keep shining  even though they're already dead,

One day they shine the brightest and the next day they fade out

That's why I don't like people, because I don't wanna leave any ray of light to be seen when I explode to death, I don't like memories because I don't want people to carry a burden when I'm gone,

While walking down the bay area,

"It's so nice here, cool breeze,nice view and everything in between, just like it's been kissed by beauty"

I look at the horizon and in the middle of the sea and the sky, there was a silhouette of a girl and by the looks of it she's crying,

"What's the drama?" Speaking with a calm voice

She just stare at me like I'm an endless void and starts crying again,

"Im all ears"

"Do you know the sorrows of a star that cannot return to the heavens?" She asked,

"Well I don't know the answer to your question, but all I know is stars are just noble gases that can explode,"

I don't understand what's going on, I just knew that this girl who says constant things about the stars are going to explode her feelings in a moment like in the big bang theory,

"Why I can't return to the heavens? " she said,

"Is it metaphorically?" I replied cause I don't really have a clue on what's happening,

"Thanks for listening, I will find a way to return to the heavens" she said with a sad voice

"You cannot return to the heavens that easily"  I replied

"Even its hard, I will find my way" she uttered

While she's crying I noticed her wrist has bruises,

"What happened there? Right there in your wrist" I asked her,

"It was just a series of medication" she replied,

And I recognized it so I asked  her

"Do you have cancer?"

"Yes," she replied with a slow, sad voice
"Leukemia stage 3"  she uttered with a low key voice
She started crying and she take her wig off

"Tell me do you know how can I return to the heavens?" She shouted then ran off,

I want to stop her but how can I  fix her up if I too are broke,
How can I help her up if I  cannot help myself just like stars can't shine without brightness,

I fell into tears looking at my prosthetic leg and reminding myself that I'm broken
Tears came running, everything was flashing back, I was all alone in front of the horizon below the stars in the heavens, under the glowing sea, 

I hate it, I hate this feeling, I hate when I cry,

Because I can feel the pain
And pain reminds me that I'm alive
Pain makes everything surreal,

All those needles, medicines, morphines tells me that I was alive,

I was all in my sense as I look to the clock and decided to go home cause its very late, I stood up wipe my tears, and walk

a one hour walk through the streets and the I reached home, and by the sound of it everyone was sleeping

I take my prosthetic of and prepare to sleep

And I can't

I was in my bed changing position every second thinking bout the all the words she says and I can feel the cold air kissing through my cheeks, the cold weather of november, and looking through the sky was stars, many stars, in the open window and realized

Some shine
Some not,

My chemistry teacher Ms. Moreno once said that "look at the stars, though it may shine the brightest its already dead"

that may seemed marked in my brain,

I can't sleep

I was thinking that ,

all my life I wanted to die because that I was destined to be, that was the dream of a cancer patient...

To end his suffering,

But till that moment,

Under the covering of the stars
The cold breeze of the bay,

My heart says you will die but my mind said you have to live

And they keep redering those words,

I was laying here but mind and my heart keeps battling,

And there's a constant silent between those two,

A blinding silent and only one voice can stand up,

And it said,

"I will live and die"
I will find that girl and let her answer my question