A week later... I've been driving myself to school lately. I usually don't but I felt the need to lately, probably because Jahseh hasn't talked to me since that night that Amber came to his house.
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I wore this today, instead of my usual hoodie and leggings. I wanted to feel better about myself. I pull up to the school, park and head to my locker that so happens to be next to Jahseh's. I don't look at him and I act as if he not there. I go to my class and I asked to sit somewhere else. I sat at an empty table but of course Jahseh sat right beside me. I usually get there blast but weirdly I was one of the first, Same with Jahseh. Me: Why did you have to sit by me? X: Why not? Me: What do you mean "Why not?", you basically stop talking to me and then you go back to the girls who hate me, even though you know she's only trying to get to me. X: You don't know what you are talking about. Me: I don't. So I'm just making shit up or am I putting shit together. X: Just forget about it. Me: No, I won't forgive or forget how my only friend ditch me for a bitch he hates. X: I got Amber pregnant, Nadia. I didn't want to leave you alone, I have to stay in her life or she might abort the baby. Me: Oh shit, I'm sorry.. I- I didn't - X: It's fine, you have every right to be mad at me. Everyone does. He got up and walked out. As I saw him walk out he had marks on his wrist. He cuts himself? I felt like shit and I got worried. I knew where he was going so during lunch time I snuck out. I drove to his Mom's house, knowing his Mom wouldn't be there by now and I hoped he would let me in.
I get to the door and it's open. I open it carefully and move carefully so I won't scare him. I get to his room and I see him with I blade in his hand. Me: Jahseh No! I burst through the door. X: Nadia, what the fuck?! What, are you here to tell me all my problems? Me: No, I'm here because I care about you. Jahseh you are, or were because you probably hate me. But you were my only friend, you made me feel sane for the week we spent together. I felt something I never felt before. X: I don't love you. Me: I wasn't talking about love jack ass, I'm talking about care. I know for a fact you care or cared for me, and you're a liar if you can't admit to it. X: I do. Me: And that's all it took for me to get attached. I don't want your love, I just want your care. And since I have it, I'm gonna care for you the same. You don't deserve to live in misery because of the mistakes you made. I'm here for you, and I'll always be here for you. He looked me directly in my eyes and kissed me. I didn't push back, if anything I pushed in. We were making out for 5 minuets now and I'm pretty turned on tbh. He grabs a hold of pants buckle and try's to unbutton them but I stop him. Me: This is not the time for sex. X: I'm sorry for being a dick and not telling you, I just thought you hated me. Me: Well I don't, I Just was confused. X: Just don't leave me alone, you're literally the only person who has every cared this much. Me: As long as we keep honesty and "care" for each other, then you have a deal. We laid on his bed, and I was laying on his chest. I started looking around, and all over his body and his skin is so clear. Most of the guys in the school have these ugly tattoos, Jahseh only has one. It's the one on his chest of his mothers name. I turned my head to his face and saw that he was asleep. I tried getting up but he pulled me closer to him.
