nepenthe // p.jisung

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Akina tried so hard to convince her mom to let her stay home the next day. She wouldn't have it. Ever since Akina's grandfather passed, her parents have been harder on her than usual. The family went about their day full of stress and hurt, trying to get over the loss.

She kept to herself, and thanks to a late-night conversation with Jisung where he explained confronting Soomi, she wasn't as worried anymore. It really warmed Akina's heart to know that Jisung stood up for her when she couldn't on her own.

Akina sat in her art class, mindlessly painting since she was finished with her latest project. The class was loud and messed around instead of completing work, but Akina blocked them out with her earbuds. She minded her own business, until there was a tap on her shoulder. She turned her head to the side to see Haechan with a warm look on his face. Akina slowly dropped an earbud.

"That's a really good painting," he commented, glancing towards what she was doing. This was the first time Akina actually thought about that painting of a sunset. It's exactly the same colors my grandfather would use.

"Thank you." She gave a small nod.

Haechan waited a couple seconds before talking. "I miss the kind of conversations we use to have."

"Really?" Akina looked down, huffing a laugh. "I miss talking to you too."

"It's Jisung, isn't it?" Haechan suddenly asked in such soft whisper Akina almost didn't catch it. She even thought she heard him wrong at first.

"Wh... What are you talking about?"

"Jisung is the guy you like, right?"

Something that surprised Akina even more was the fact that Haechan had a grin on his face like he was happy about it.

"I'll be right there to support you no matter what. I just want to be a good friend."

Akina gave him a long look of mixed emotions mostly consisting of guilt. "You're a great guy, Donghyuck."

"That really means a lot."

~ ~ ~

A month has flown by so quickly, making Jisung start basketball season in that time. The holidays came and passed with flying colors and Akina actually felt warmth in the cold weather.

Jisung knocked on her door Christmas morning, a gift in hand. Akina told him he didn't have to, but that didn't stop Jisung from doing anything. To his surprise, she also had something in mind for him as well. They opened them at the same time, both showing faces of excitement, but it wasn't for their gifts. It was the excitement of seeing the other open their gift.

Jisung opened his and was filled with pleasure to see a painting made by Akina. It was the sunset from when they released the balloon, and even that made an appearance. Two silhouettes stood in the middle, one taller than the other, and their hands connected.

"This is amazing," Jisung awed, gluing his eyes to the picture.

Akina's expression went blank as she stared at the revealed surprise of her own. She gingerly clutched the stuffed bear with one hand while handling the dainty necklace around it with the other. It was simple with just a small crystal, but it was her favorite thing that day. Well, except for Jisung himself.

Haechan wasn't wrong. Akina did like Jisung. She really did, but she couldn't open up her heart because she feared love and putting herself in the hands of another, even if it was someone she so deeply trusted like Jisung. That's just how she grew up thinking. However, she could tell him anything.

"Would it hurt if I asked you how it... feels?" Jisung shyly asked one day.

"How what feels?"

"Depression?"

Akina wasn't bothered by the question at all. "Depression is like being colorblind... and being constantly told how beautiful and colorful the world really is."

Akina felt her fear heighten as they got closer and closer. When they hung out together, even the slightest contact, just a brush of hands while walking, sent Akina into a feeling of shock. She couldn't fall because she may never get back up.

"If there's one thing I've learned from my sorry excuse of a life," Akina muttered to herself at midnight, "is that nothing lasts. My life can't handle any more scars." She pressed her back against the wall, sliding down until she met with the floor and silently cried into the deepest parts of the night.

The weather eventually started to warm up. Basketball season was almost over for Jisung. Akina attended all the games in support of both her friends on the team. As for the other friends at school, she still talked to them, but not as much as she did to Haechan and Jisung.

An orange glow cast against Akina and Jisung as they strolled down the road. They were chatting about some of the normal topics they have, plus some new ones as well. There was a small break, but was broken by Akina's surprising question.

"Jisung?"

"Hm?"

"What are my flaws?"

Jisung gave Akina a look of confusion. The question seemed so random. "What? What flaws?"

Akina rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. Everyone has them."

Jisung watched the road slowly pass under their feet and gave a limp shrug. "I guess I saw them as perfect imperfections."

Akina got caught on his response. She cracked a small smile, but it quickly faded. Her eyes glistened with possible tears. Jisung noticed her marbled eyes and quickly got a panicked feeling.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked her, stopping in his tracks. She simply shook her head, looking down so her hair fell on her face.

"What's wrong?" Jisung placed his hands on her shoulders comfortingly.

"Jisung," she started, but hesitated when her voice broke. Her eyes directed anywhere but towards Jisung's. "You can't say things like that."

"Why not?"

Akina wiped her face clean and finally looked up at Jisung. "Because you made my heart flutter."

   And that's all it took to make his.