Average

Chapter 1

I was getting dressed into my hoodie by the window when I decided to look out and check on the weather. The skies were gloomy and grey the wind was blowing a plastic bag in the air as it floated about with no purpose just like me, I looked down at the empty streets that resembled my life and that's when I saw him, walking slowly with head phones on, all alone along the side walk on the other side of the road. He was so perfect yet walking out there looking so mysterious but i could read him like a book and I could tell he had everything, from a perfect family to supporting friends,he was loved by everyone, he had good looks, he was smart asf, super confident and he had a beautiful smile, he was everything I had ever hoped for and be, Infact He was Hope.

Just a stare from him and you'd be left hoping, wishing, dreaming and believing which is why I envied him.

I quickly turned away closing the curtains as he suddenly stopped and turned towards my street to cross.

I watched him closely from the corner of the window as he stood there metres away in his jeans black long sleeves and a pair of converse, my heart raced rapidly as he lifted his head up, gaze glued to my window towards the exact spot where I stood just a couple of seconds ago as though he was expecting something, someone... maybe me.

Just for that second I wondered what it would be like to step into the spot light, to join gazes with his and share one harmless moment, for that split second I found myself dreaming and soon regretting all at once.

I couldn't take the tension anymore I couldn't let myself dream. The illusion felt too real like he could actually see me as though he were seeping through my naked soul which made me feel too vunrable. I knew if I got too close to him it would mean the end of me, and I was just not ready to mess up my life more than it already was so this is why I gave up believing a long time ago.

I eliminated any hopeful ideas from my head finished zipping up my hoodie and left the room.

****Later afternoon (School)****

I sat in class lost in thought, wondering why I was who I was. I thought back to the day he said "Don't think so low of yourself, you're beautiful both inside and out , I'll always be there to remind you that.."
Huh!, if only it were true then I wouldn't be where I am now.

Sometimes I found myself believing I was actually special, I would sit around and dream of myself as someone important someone with purpose, with ambitions. I sometimes hoped that one day i would mean something to someone but that kind of thinking left just as it came cause i knew that day would never happen.

I sighed in defeat and layed my head down whilst I faced the window on my right in search of a distraction. I nearly jumped out my seat when a figure just happened to come into view. He was walking about outside looking too beautiful too even be looked at, his mind in space not having a care in the world. I was disapointed, he had skipped class whilst my heart skipped a beat at the speed of light when he turned around and caught me staring back at him. I tried to contain myself as he gave me one of his heart melting smiles but flushed red and started smiling like an idiot instead. Damn..I couldn't believe that after all this time he still had that kind of an effect on me.

My heart rate was exceding the normal rate of a normal person, riding a bike DOWNHILL.. NAKED while being chased by a herd of moody elephans ON ROLLER SKATES. Yeah..I was a fool but only a fool for him. I would have never thought that anyone would ever get me falling so hard, but I guess there's a first time for everything and he was mine.

I watched him from the corner of my eyes as he walked out of sight. My heart rate relaxed and my breathing went back to normal but I couldn't help but feel like a part of me left with him. I couldn't fight the fact that I still loved him and that there was nothing he could ever do to make me hate him.

******A/N****
OKAY, this is what I have so far..
Hope it's not completely horrible as it is more or less different from what I'm used to writing.

*Notice*

At the beginning the girl explains how she and I quote 'envied him' though those amongst u who were more attentive might have noticed how she then betrays those words by saying she loves him and would never hate him..(last paragraph). So what is true and what is not.

To those of u who have figured it out..well done!

Plz comment/follow/Vote
If you want to that is..(no obligations)

Thanx to those who read

Xoxo
Lovely 🖤