Jealousy • Jachary

Chapter 9

Z A C H

I literally have no words. My emotions are so jumbled together I'm so confused. Yesterday Jack told me he liked me. I am internally screaming I've been sitting on my bed all morning just thinking about probably the best moment of my life. I wonder if it's bad I that I feel like I can't get out of bed? I wonder what everyone is doing but I feel like I'm frozen. Like if I move everything that happened will disappear.

I'm still lying here on my bed just staring off into space. I hear the door open and I see Daniel. "Hey we were wondering if your going to get food with us, Daniel says. Dammit I forgot no one knows how to fucking cook but honestly I am not that hungry."No I think I'm just gonna stay here." "Ok we'll do you want anything?" He asks. "Sure." "Ok bye we probably be gone for a few hours because we want to go do some things after we eat,"he says as he leaves.

As Daniel left, I though about how I am kinda, trying to steal his manz. I thinks it fair because I saw him first and I even went on tour with him before we became a band, so yeah.

I guess I'll see what's up on Instagram. I look on there and apparently Jack posted a picture. I'm kinda in disgust because apparently it's Daniel and his anniversary. It's a picture of Jack giving Daniel a kiss on the cheek and Daniel's blue eyes are bright with joy as he smiles into the camera. The caption reads "Glad to have the love of my life who is the best thing in my life." Cute. No it makes me sick. I feel a tear slip as I envy Daniel so much in this picture it makes me feel sad like I wanna curl up in a ball but then it makes me feel angry like I wanna punch a wall.

Does he say those things so I can feel good inside? I sit thinking on my bed. With my knees propped up holding my face. I'm not like an innocent child who needs to be babied. I start feeling my tears stream down my face like a river. What am I gonna do? I shouldn't keep doing this to myself.

I hear the door open. I quickly wipe my tears away. Hopefully no one will baby me. Jack appears with food in his hand. I guess I was lost in thought that I lost track of time. "Hey Zachy we're back and brought you food," he saids with a smile while sitting the food on the nightstand next to my bed. "Don't fucking call me that I'm not a baby." I say sounding a little rude. That's when he asks the question that I didn't want to fucking hear. "What's wrong why do you look like you been crying and your having an attitude," he says genuinely concerned. "I'm fine I'm just having a bad day just look at my hair." Whenever I'm having a bad hair day I usually feel like the day is bad in general and all the boys know that from experience with knowing me. He chuckles. "ok well do you wanna hang out?" He asks jumping on my bed. I'm not really in the mood I don't understand why he won't leave. What have I done to deserve this.

I put on a fake smile and say as nice as possible, "No I'm kinda tired and just wanna cuddle with my pillow and take a nap." "I'll cuddle with you," he says with a toothy smile and trying to wrap his arms on me. I pull away even though I want this. He frowns and asks, "Ok what's up?" "Can't you just leave me alone right now." "No I've done told you I like you, aren't we something?" He asks. I start to tear up. "We can't be something do you not understand you have a boyfriend, which today happens to be your anniversary, which means you should be hanging out with him," I say slowly trying to make him understand.

He doesn't saying anything and the room is filled with silence. After a minute he tries to wrap his arms around me again and this time I let him because I'm tired of fighting. His arms are so warm around me and I eventually snuggle in to him and I feel a smile slowly appear on my face. "Let's just live in the moment," he says while kissing my forehead.  "Thanks for doing this," I say. "I will be here all day if you wanted me to and I could just sit here watching that beautiful face of yours with that smile."Jack says sounding heartfelt. He has me speechless so I just kiss his neck and slowly fall asleep in his arms feeling whole.