Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 11

Don nodded as he watched her walk out of the room and then their babies on the monitor; trying to make himself calm down. "It was a nightmare; it was only a nightmare."

***

Meryl stopped outside of the babies' nursery knowing she needed to get herself together; because her husband would be able to see her on the baby monitor. Everything about him at the moment screamed to her that he was having a PTSD nightmare because of her "dying" when she had the babies. She had to figure out how to help him. She took a deep breath as she walked into the nursery and went to the monitor. "I'm in here, sweetheart, getting the babies. As soon as I get them we will be right by your side. I just need to get them out of their seats." Meryl tried to smile and wink into the baby video monitor. She kissed each baby as she managed to lift them to each shoulder. "Let's go see your daddy. I bet you're missing him like I am."

***

"Here's Daddy." Meryl said trying to pull herself together as she walked back into her bedroom carrying Mags and Brady.

Don was sitting up in bed and held out his arms. "Can I please hold them?"

"You never have to ask." Meryl choked at seeing her husband so upset. She knew he had a bad dream; but now she was starting to think that he had PTSD worse than she had originally thought. "You're the best father I have ever seen in my life."

Don blinked back tears as he held both sleeping babies to his chest and kissed their heads over and over. "I love you both so much. No matter what happens I will always love you and be there for you; no matter what. I won't drink again. I won't turn into James; I promise the both of you."

"Baby, what is going on?" Meryl asked as she ran her fingers through his hair. "What do you mean you won't drink again? You could NEVER be James; not in a million years, sweetheart. You are the furthest thing from James Gummer there is, baby."

Don started crying again. "I was awful to them. I didn't protect you from me, you got pregnant and died. I won't touch you until I get that vasectomy. Henry was right; I didn't protect you like I always say I will and look what happened."

"Yeah, look what happened." Meryl said kissing his lips as she put her hand on the backs of their new babies. "We have two wonderful, and perfect, babies that we both love more than anything."

Don nodded. "I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world; but I can't put you at risk again. Henry was right, I failed you. So were Dana and Mann."

"No, No, NO!" Meryl said strongly as she held his head in her hands. "You have never failed me, Donald Gummer. You protect all of us at ALL costs. You got me help. You were telling the doctor what needed to happen to save me before she even knew there was anything wrong with me. YOU wouldn't let go of me. YOU brought me back. Sweetheart, where is all of this coming from?"

Don shook his head. "I...I...you died. I denied...them...I drank...I died."

"Okay, baby, please calm down. I don't want you to have a heart attack or something. We are all fine. The babies are perfect. I am perfect because you worked so damn hard for the past 9 months to make sure I am. It was just a dream, sweetheart; a god awful dream, but just a dream." Meryl said soothingly as she kissed all over his face and ran her fingers through his hair. "I don't know what any of us would do without you, Donald Gummer."

Don turned longing eyes to her. "I love you and ALL of our children more than you will ever know; I promise."

"Oh I know, Don Man; I promise you I do." Meryl whispered. "Can I get you anything?"

Don shook his head. "Lay here with us?"

"These are moments I treasure." She whispered into her ear as she continued to kiss along his face and run her fingers through his hair. She continued to whisper in his ear as she kissed him and played with his hair until he had calmed down and fell back asleep. "Dream sweet dreams, baby; while I give our son a piece of my mind."