FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

9.

"At least, we got three hours more together."

"It doesn't count when we're both asleep..."  I joke and pull his shirt towards me, but lose my smile to have to say goodbye so soon.

"Have a nice trip back."  He sighs and I am immediately drawn to embrace him and kiss him one last time for what seem like too long before we get to do it again.

I let go and, regretfully, walk him to the door.   I don't want him to go.  It's the last thing I want and it feels like going back to Marcel will be the last thing that will help my headache.

I look again at the floor and the mess that was, and slightly still is, in this living room and sigh deeply.  I collect my bra and my panties and walk to my bedroom to hide them in a drawer. 

I turn the knob silently and push the door open to reveal a calm and sit Marcel at the edge of my bed, looking absentmindedly through the window, clearly lost in his thoughts.

I take care of my dirty laundry and sneak myself closer to him to finally talk.  Facing him, I feel a bit too intimidated by the silence between us.    I take a step forward, watching his features, tensed, but he doesn't move.  I sit next to him and try to find the words to apologise.

"I'm sorry..."

It's all that comes out of my mouth. It will have to do, because it's all I seem to say.  He doesn't move, he doesn't talk and, honestly, it freaks me out now more than it was calming me seconds ago.

"I know how it seems and I'm sorry.  I just want you to know how committed I am to this project and-"

"Are you?  Because you seem to be more into partying and fooling around than working with me."

"No, that's not true."

"Well, it's the second Sunday in a row that we meet and you are hungover."

"I'm so sorry.  I assure you it's not like me."  i plead to him, but I know he's right.  It makes me feel really bad to have made such an impression.

"I don't think I know you like I thought I did yesterday."

"We don't even know each other...  We've met last week."

"And you sure made the best impression!"  He sarcastically lets out, being very expressive for once.

"I know this looks bad, but I can explain."  I immediately feel the need to justify myself .   I surprise myself to care so much about what he thinks of me.  I would lie to say that I don't esteem him a lot.

"Oh please do, because yesterday you told me all about your mean boyfriend and that you were done with him to find him almost naked opening your door.  It took everything in me not to jump at his throat."

"The man you saw isn't my boyfriend..."  I let out and quickly realise the last part of what he just said.

"What?!  So you shagged another man last night.  This is getting better."  He shakes his head theatrically in disbelief.

"What did you just say?  Why would you jump at his throat?"  I stop him, wanting to get answers as to why he would do something so violent and extreme.

"And I can't believe you told me yesterday that you were different from your brothers sleeping around and not having a serious relationship when you are apparently doing the very same."

"I don't get why you are being so concerned about all of this.  You should be mad that I didn't show up, not the way I live my life!"

"It just adds oil to the fire."