Having Your Jelly Baby

17: Papanazi

Cringe. Cringe, cringe, cringe.

This was freaking me out, because all that was running through my mind was a disturbed, What the actual fuck is going on?

At least I had looked semi decent in the photo they had used, showing Drew and me walking near the houses by my old flat from that one time we had gone on our Starbucks date.

I was on the frickin' TV. I was on E!frickin'News. Ryan Seacrest (another sex bomb) had probably seen my face too, and almost hysterically, that was the most unfathomable part of it all.

'This is so weird,' I muttered, pretending in my mind that I was talking to Jelly, because the amount I was talking to myself lately could not be considered normal.

Throwing aside the TV remote after switching off the television, sickness began to build up again in my stomach. It was annoying, because never in my life had I had a weak stomach, but ever since getting up the duff, my stomach had, quite frankly, become a pussy.

Running to the loo before I vomited all over Drew's plush furniture, I shoved my head in the toilet and threw up pretty much everything I had eaten those last two days. I almost cried because I knew I was never going to be able to stomach pizza ever again.

* 

By the next morning, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to get the hell out of there.

'Bitch, I'm coming over,' I had said matter-of-factly down the phone to Laina, without even so much as a hello down the phone. '...Is that okay?' I clarified, just in case she was busy with somebody. Laina - as far as I knew - was single, her last relationship during her first year at university.

Laina laughed. 'Yeah yeah whorebag, why are you even asking? You know you're always welcome at casa del Laina,' she said. 'Are you okay though, babes? You sound a bit stressed.'

I swallowed the lump that was thick and painful in my throat. Okay, it wasn't even just my stomach that had become a complete wimp lately - it seemed all I had done recently was bloody cry.

'Drew and I flipped out at each other yesterday afternoon,' I admitted, pausing before I said anything else.

'Mm,' Laina said, pushing me along gently with her words. 'What was it over?'

'He - he was the one that made a public statement about the baby,' I told her. 'He didn't even ask me, and before that I found out that apparently reporters and wanker journalists are camped outside Mum and Dad's, and then I flipped out and said things and he flipped out and said things, and then he walked out and I don't know if we're engaged still or what, but I just don't know what to do so I was wondering if I could park my arse at yours for a bit because he hasn't come back since yesterday.'

'Breathe, Supernova, breathe!' Laina said. Okay, so I was breathing heavily because I had just rambled all of that out in one giant mess of a sentence.

'You're going to be fine,' she said soothingly. 'Get your shit and drive down to mine if you want to stay. We'll work this out and it'll be fine, you'll see. Yeah?'

'Yeah,' I said, letting out a sigh of relief.

I gathered a few outfits, pairs of underwear and my toiletries in my big leather holdall, before slinging it over my arm and making my way out of Drew's flat.

Just before I left, I hesitantly tapped out a text message to him, in case he came back and found a deserted flat and wrongly presumed that I had done a runner with the baby or something.

Heading to Laina's for a while, not too sure how long. I think we need some space.

I locked up behind me, using the spare key Drew had given to me, a few hours after we had brought all my stuff up.

'Is this the key to your heart?' I had asked with a teasing wink as I took it from his hand that held it out, grasping his fingers with my own and briefly squeezing them.

He laughed, throwing back his head. 'If you like, it can be.'

I had never had to actually use it up until this point, since when we had ventured out of the flat, we had always been together.

Shaking my head, I slid the key into the back pocket of my jeans and left the building, walking in a daze to my parked car.

As I opened the back door to slide in my holdall, I noticed a man not so inconspicuously leaning against his car which was parked two bays away from mine, arms folded and a big DSLR camera in his hand, which was tucked beneath his crossed arms.

Narrowing my eyes, I called out, 'Hey - can I help you?'

The guy smiled crookedly, eyebrows rising in surprise at the fact that I had said anything to him. I looked at him straight on, feeling my heart leap a little as I took him in properly. I would be the first to admit that he was undeniably gorgeous, with his dark hair and dark eyes making him look a little bit mysterious.

He couldn't have been much older than me, maybe around 24, and he kind of had the cool, slightly indie thing going on with his green and blue plaid shirt and dark jeans, a stubbly shadow accentuating his beautiful jaw line. Hey, it wasn't a crime to appreciate a sex bomb when you saw one.

'I don't think so,' he replied cheerfully, continuing to look at me unceasingly, that close lipped half smile and raised eyebrow ever-present. He was so obviously doing it on purpose to make me feel uneasy.

Shutting the car door, I rested my hand on top of my car and put the other one on my hip.

'What's your business bothering and creepily staring at a woman with a bun in the oven, then? Take a picture,' I said bitterly. 'It'll last longer.'

'Why are you being so snappy?' he asked, tucking one of his ankles over the other as he leant back further onto his car and cocking his head.

'Why do you think?! Because you're so clearly a papanazi attempting to stake me and Drew out!'

He snorted with laughter at the term that had come flying straight out of my mouth. 'I'm sorry, I'm so clearly a what? A papanazi?'

'You heard,' I said, trying to be firm, but I just ended up sighing and removing my hand from my hip so it swung loosely at my side.

'And who says I'm staking you out?' He inquired, eyebrows knitting together.

'Says me!' I answered exasperatedly. But then, I wondered if I was simply being paranoid, and this whole thing was just a gross misunderstanding that had stemmed from me kind of losing the plot. I bet I sure looked like a crazy person to whoever was looking at me.

'Aren't... aren't you?' I asked uncertainly, faltering.

He grinned then, admitting, 'Okay, fine, you got me. I was attempting to stake you and Drew Turner out.'

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows at his honesty.

'All right then,' I said, studying him for just a couple more seconds, before telling him, 'Bye.'

Opening my door, I got into the car, admittedly feeling pretty damn cool at how I had kind of sassed him.

The mid-May heat was beginning to show the transition into summer, and the inside of the car was so unbearably stuffy it was difficult to breathe.

Rolling down the window, I put the key into the ignition, hearing a certain boyish, papanazish shout just before I reversed: 'Yo, do you want to go out sometime for a drink?'

I stuck only my hand out of the car and flipped him my middle finger in reply.