Letters to Life: Letters written to a lost life

Dreams and Memories 2

dear life,
last evening, i went to peek into my well of moments to see just how many were still left. one of those moments clasped my finger. it convinced me to go with it. it dragged me to a beautiful place.

for the first time in a while, the setting sun knocked on the door of my darkness. the puzzle of dark vanished into smoke on meeting the sunlight. the glitter of fading brightness was spread all around. there was a different fragrance in the breeze that caressed my bruises with a gentle blow which i quite remember to be similar to your touch.

something about the waves always used to scare me. but the sound of waves here seemed somewhat soothing. so i sat by the water, burying my feet deep into the cold sand.

as the waves rolled closer, i wondered, ' why do i have this habit of living? why am i taking debts of happiness? why did i never ask for accounts from time? why have i embraced every moment with smiles and tears? '

after a while, there was a figure beside me. you. yes, life, it was you. just then, every distance seemed to be so close. every difference seemed to be so similar.

something about this was different. my heart did not race. my small and hesitant breaths seemed to be echoing through the sky but i was silent. there was so much i could say, but i didn't. instead, i just smiled and you smiled back.

same eyes. same hair. same smile. but the feeling wasn't the same. the shadow of sadness still clung weightlessly on my lashes. there were no tears. there was a blur happiness, amorphous a little like i couldn't put it into place.

the dusk had too many emotions to carry. it was getting heavier and heavier. everything seemed so real. yet, it was so ethereal. there was too much. yet, there was nothing. i knew it. yet, i didn't feel it.

the dusk turned into night and i wished for a dream to tickle my sleep but instead, i stayed awake with an excuse of nightmares.

then you stood up and started walking away slowly. by the time i raised my arm to stop you, you were gone too far.

the heavy moment started becoming lighter. then the sun pinched my eyes. the night turned to morning so fast. the morning had no emotions to carry. everything was getting lighter and lighter. everything seemed so ethereal. yet, it was so real. i was no longer at that place. you were not there. the waves were not. there was nothing. yet, there was too much. i didn't know it. yet, i felt it. i felt you. no, not you. the dream. i felt the dream of you.

dreaming about you every night with open eyes.