We are Just Lonely People, Living Lonely Lives (Beatle Fan Fic)

Chapitre 19

Chapitre 19 (short chapter sorry :()

I missed him so much, I did love him a lot, more than anything in this world, and I didn't want to lose him for anything. I thought he loved me back, I really did. It seemed as though he always was trying to tell me but never did.

I thought he was just scared but maybe he really doesn't, John doesn't. I couldn't believe he's done this to me, after everything, after I trusted him with everything I had in me, he left like he never really cared anyway. 

He was disparu, gone. 

I curled under my blanket, on my cold bed. I lost track of time sometime after midnight, falling asleep sometimes and waking up again, minutes or hours later. Never did I want to sleep so much, and not at all. 

If I closed my eyes for a second, then maybe I would wake up and John's arms would be around me, his breath on my ear, telling me over and over, like he always did, how beautiful I was and how much he would never let me go.

Every time I woke up, I was still alone. It hurt. Truly, I thought of all the thinks I wanted to tell him, and that now I was never going to. I knew he was never going to talk to me again. His eyes are just going to burn into my skin when I walk down the hallways now, showing nothing, even if he knows I love him. 

Every maudit time I told someone I loved them, or even just plain that I love them, then I was crushed. It was the worst feeling in the world, to love and lost. It was better to just not love at all. I wanted to curl and die, but I couldn't.

I love him too much to do so. 

Tears of sadness dripped down my face for most of the two days, while I just laid there, sad and angry. I didn't want this, but of course I had to fall for that stupid mec, my Jekyll and Hyde. Couldn't he just go for some other bird, instead of the one that everyone else hated?

Now, I'm not good at laying around and doing nothing, especially when I know that someone was to come over later that day, and it turned out to be Sunday. 

At the same time that I didn't want to see Paul, being the one that ruined my relationship with such a wonderful guy, but at the same time, he seemed to be the only one left to actually not hate me, I wasn't so sure on John anymore.

Forcing myself up, I showered for maybe an half an hour, before dressing into something causal and comfy, before stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen, fixing a breakfast of sorts around 4:30 in the afternoon. 

I wanted to go to see John so much, but I had to just sit there, with my loneliness. I could almost feel him sitting by me, telling me he was sorry, and that he loved me. 

I kicked those thoughts out of my mind, making me feel worse. I knew that if things were to get better, I would have to fix my mistakes. But there was no way I was going to do that now, I just wanted to see Paul, the one who didn't know. 

A knock came from the door, scaring the merde out of me for a second, then I realized it was the time for Paul to show up, and my father was working late, late again, as always. I didn' t mind though, I didn't want my father there.

I was on my couch, curled in a blanket, and drinking hot tea to try and calm myself down some when ever Paul would show up. With the knock, and after a bit of scare, I put my tea cup down and got up. I went to the door, wiping my face, and opening the door. 

"Hi Rosie," With the bright smile, Paul stood in the door way of my home, with normal clothes on this time though, a button up shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket. 

"Hi Paul," I sniffled a bit, and he lost his smile, which seemed to be rare,

"Can I come in love?" I nodded at his request and stepped backwards, letting him slip through the doorway, and shutting the darkness behind him. Paul looked at the house, this being the first time he came in my own home. 

Turning around, he looked at me, and my triste face, "Are you alright? You look, hm, terrible," I shrugged and looked down at my bare feet. Paul took my hands in his, holding them tightly, trying to support me somehow. 

"Oh, come on love, I know something happened, please let me help you," He smiled again, one of support and sweetness. I tugged my hands away, and slipped past him, going back to my couch and sitting down, picking the cup up again and taking a sip. The liquid warmed my throat. 

He followed me, sitting next to me, staying close, also warming me, "Alright, I won't ask, I'm sorry for whatever has happened," Paul took my hand again.

I sighed, I needed to say something, so I made something up, "Someone I really loved died, my mother," His eyes went wide, like he could really understand, and that's how it felt, like my John had died.

"I'm sorry, I know how it must feel," Some tears dripped down my face as he spoke, hearing parts of it, and losing the rest to time. I looked over at him, and Paul sighed, putting his hands on my face and wiping the tears away softly. 

I gulped, "I miss her so much," I wanted to say him, but that would confuse Paul to question me, and I didn't want that. He nodded continuing to wipe the tears, with a light brush, doucement. His matching hazel eyes looked deeply into mine, sending comfort for me. It was a feeling I've been longing for all day.

Simple comfort.

His breath got closer to me, my heart rate picked up. I watched his younger face come ever so slowly, closer. The tears stopped pouring from my eyes, just one last tear run from my eye and over his hand.

It took my breath away, when his lips met my own. His puffy, soft, young lips fit with mine, doing all a kiss should do, be wonderful. While I longed for my John, this helped me get my mind off of him for just a second. His arms moved down to my waist, while mine wrapped around his neck. 

There was more kissing between us, and it didn't matter if this was the "second date" or quelle que soit, all that mattered was I had a false feeling of no more loneliness. False being the key word, that I ignored entirely. 

Soon enough, his tongue lightly asked to enter, and I feared the worst, but remembering that I have no longer a secret boyfriend, opened my mouth and let his warm tongue slip threw. It was unbelievable, yet there was that something I want to say was missing. 

That "thing" came busting threw my door a moment later, after calling my name threw the thing.