Strength. Bravery. Peace. Calm. This is my mantra.
No one understands why I wear my little golden dragon charm around my neck. No one understands because I refuse to tell them. My dragon is chipped, rusted, and has a spot of paint that wouldn't scrub off. It isn't shiny or new anymore. It has character and a story.
The dragon symbolizes what those four words mean to me. Strength. Bravery. Peace. Calm. I say those words when I'm scared, stressed, nervous, hurt, sad, and even alone. Those four words have guided me for several years now, and my dragon has been there with me through it all.
This story, or confession, whatever you want to call it can only be five-hundred words long. I'll give you the short version.
I don't know what made me think of them, or what made them stick, but I'm glad they did. I do have my own reasons for them now. It's just taken me a long time to see it.
I have some medical issues, and a few scars. I don't like showing them off, because all the people look and treat me differently. I can do most things that everyone else does, its just a little harder. Strength is a big thing when your diagnosis is chronic pain. It's like grinning and bearing it every second of every day.
I believe it's easier to speak to a crowd of two-hundred people you don't know, than the fifty that you do. Bravery comes in at all those everyday acts that you have to accomplish. It's walking down the hallways in school, answering a question in class, and even just picking a place to sit at lunch. You have to be brave during the smaller things to be able to get through the bigger things.
Then there's Peace. It's all about not getting angry when someone shoves you down, and not dwelling on the fact that you didn't fight back. This is one of the hardest things for me. I stand up for myself now, but I didn't always. Every time someone does something to you, whether it's big or small, you always have to think: is that person just having a bad day? and, what would happen if I were to lash out? Actions have consequences, even if it wasn't your fault at first. Peace comes when you know there's another way of doing something.
Calm. It's the simplest one. All it means is to forget about it. Don't dwell on what's already happened. You can't change the past, only the future.
Strength. Bravery. Peace. Calm.
When I can, I want to get a dragon tattoo to replace my necklace. It's falling apart, and won't last forever. My mom says that a tattoo should mean something, but she doesn't know what the dragon means to me. Strength. Bravery. Peace. Calm. I don't think there are any words with as much meaning as those four.
