Teaser chapters from my other unpublished GnR/Slash books.

This is a big one with loads of mistakes 💁🏻but its one of my most loved ones

"Big bad Saul Hudson- oh wait- Slash is afraid of fucking love, afraid of commitment but you continue to whore yourself out whether it's for drugs or sex or to just not feel at all, cause at the end of the day the big bad guitar player is just a fucking pussy!".

This was it, this was me breaking, this was my chance to leave it all.

The pain, the tears, the long nights, the mess, the ambulance calls, the prayers, the never ending anxiety, the list goes on.

"I'm tired of saving you Saul", I whispered in disbelief as tears streamed down my face.

"I need to be selfish for once in my life and put myself first".

His breathing became ragged, my heart clenched painfully.

I was hurting him and even through his drunk and high stupor he still understood my every word.

As if he were sober, a rarity nowadays.

"I love you Saul, always have, always will", I swallowed finally finding the courage to look him in the eye.

Two brown pools filled with sadness, anger, fear and underneath all the haze understanding.

"I've been there throughout the rise and rise of guns, I watched you all fall in and out of love with the music, drugs, booze and one night stands".

"I've watched you die and come back to life too many times than I can count and each time a little piece of my heart breaks".

"I've watched you fall in and out of whatever you think love is, whether it's the next groupie pick of the night or the next speedball concoction and now it's Renee. I watch you lose more and more of yourself each time but I'm always there to pick up each and every piece of you, each and every piece of all of you and it kills me more and more each time".

"You can't have it all-".

"I never wanted to hurt you by bring you into this life", he croaked out.

"I never wanted you to see this side of me. I wanted to protect you from it all. You were my little safe haven, I knew that at the end of the day if no one else loved me or could be honest with me I always have you", he let out a sad laugh.

"You love me regardless of what I did, of who I became, always kept me in line, kept my feet planted on the ground when guns blew up".

"You're the one person in the world I'd die for and all I ever wanted to do was to keep you safe, I've wanted you since you were 15. It tore me apart the day that mom told you what had happened with your parents, to see you so broken I swore to myself that I'd fuck up anyone who made you feel that way again".

"And when I snuck into your room that night just to hold you and then it turned into so much more...", he thought back to the memory of my first time.

"I knew I loved you then, I didn't even know what the fuck love was and I still don't know what it is now but when someone consumes your every thought and the thought of anyone ever hurting them fucking makes you...", he trailed off not being able to find the words before continuing.

"When I look into your eyes everything bad in my life just disappears and now I look into your eyes and all I can see is pain, pain that's been there for so long and knowing I'm the one that's caused it all...it fucking tears me apart", his voice wavered.

"I've fucked up big time, I guess I knew what was happening all along but I just kept pushing it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to believe it was me doing this to you, I'm so sorry  Layla", the last part almost inaudible as he to finally broke.