Chapter 16
Bumaba ako patungo sa kanila “Aba ang sweet niyo ah! Balikan na itu?”
“Uhmm hindi, nagkaroon na ng closure about our relationship kaya hindi na awkward.” Sabi ni Emily “Bakit nagseselos ka ba?” aba bababastos to ah! Sa harap pa ni guy sasabihin? Hmmp.
“No in fact my feelings for him before is no longer here.” Ka-awkward naman ng atmosphere! Tinignan ko si Jason pero mukhang concentrated siya sa pag gawa ng thesis kaya tumahimik nalang muna ako.
Tumagal ng ilang oras ang awkwardness sa air hanggang tinawag na kami ni mama para kumain. At lalong naging awkward! No one dares to say a thing, ng biglang umeksena si mama.
“Kumusta naman ang thesis?”
“Ok lang po, patapos naman na po.” Pag sagot ni Jason.
AT MULI NANAMANG TUMAHIMIK ANG PALIGID! Ang awkward no? sobrang awkward naman ng mga pangyayari. Wala nanamang umimik.
Hindi na kami nag usap-usap, hanggang sa matapos namin yung thesis at nagsi-uwian na sila.
“would you like me to take you home?” sabi ni Jason kay Emily (Yeah mayaman ang lolo niyo may car siya, hansosyal)
“uhmm yeah, mas safe since gabi na” pag ngiting sagot ni Emily
I don’t know what to feel! I mean OO nasasaktan ako, nagpapakita ng motibo si guy na hanggang ngayon ako pa rin ang gusto, gusto parin niya nga ba ako? O nag assume lang ako? Hindi naman niya sinabi saken ng direkta na gusto niya ako, pero. Actions are louder than words, naramdaman ko naman kahit pano na gusto niya ako, pero. Bat ganto ang nararamdaman ko? I mean ano ba ako? Classmate lang naman ako, wala rin namang relationship na nabuo para magselos ako. BAKIT BA JESSA? Get a grip of yourself! Bakit ka ganyan? You’re not supposed to feel this way. Pero… ansakit.
Bakit ba umaasa parin ako sa relationship na mabubuo samen ni JASON? Bakit ba?
*Emily’s POV*
Ang awkward kanina sa bahay nila Jessa. Ok lang sana saken, tanggap ko ang ano mang sasabihin ni Jessa, but si Jason, mukhang nasaktan sa sinabi niya. Ramdam ko yun! I know Jason more than anything, crush ko na siya since then, since He came out to be my night and shining armor. Noong mga panahon na wala akong maisagot sa tanong ng teacher ko at pinahiya ako, di kasi ako nakikinig dahil kakadivorce lang ng magulang ko, it’s like my life has no meaning anymore and then he raised his hand at sinagot niya ang tanong ni maam.
“Ma’am she’s a transferee, maybe she’s just adjusting here, maybe it would be better if we will not pressure her first.” Those words, kabisadong kabisado ko pa. That very day my heart started to pumps for him, my life has a new meaning, every day I go to school early just to see him and everynight I am wishing on every stars to give me the courage to tell him that my hearts flutters because of him, the time that I got the chance to confess my feelings came. I told him all about it, but…… he rejected it. He told me I’m just a little sister for him and ouch! For heaven’s sake IT REALLY HURTS! The stars seem to fall and the world seems to crash now. Why the world does needs to be cruel? Why is the world needs to be this wick? I came home having with me all the heartbreaks, but the heartbreaks became love when I came to know that my parents reconcile and decided to be together again. I came into a realization that life is really like this, sometimes you’re happy sometimes you’re sad but it is how you deal with it. Life is like a Tv series, it has an END, nothing is forever.
“ramdam ko ang sakit” I whispered while he is driving..
“what?” he asked.
“I said ramdam ko ang sakit”
“I know, but what do you mean?” he asked irritably.
“yung sinabi niyang wala na siyang feelings para sa iyo.”
Napatahimik nalang siya.
“Ramdam kong meron pa. nahihiya lang siyang sabihin.” I whispered.
“How do you say so?”
“basta! Trust women’s instinct. But kung wala man, what of it? Pwede namang ibalik diba?” I winked at him
“Pano?”
“Edi ibalik mo lahat, I mean paramdam mo kasi na mahal mo parin siya, that you love her….” I spread my hands “….this much?”
“No your hands are too short, my love for her is beyond measure” he laughed! FINALLY HE LAUGHED!
But it hurts, How I wish he loves me the same way back then, but now. My mind is cleared up. I am not dreaming for his love anymore. TANGAP ko na. Acceptance is a Virtue anyway.
*END OF CHAPTER*
