For Amaya

Chapter 1: Hopeless

"My thoughts play on repeat
Only comfort that I keep
'Cause in a moment I will be
Something you will forget"
-Hopeless, Khalid
~~~~~

*Amaya*

It is cold. Black. Darkness couldn't begin to describe the empty, haunting feeling. This cell: my home. For as long as I can remember, I've been here, lost.

I know of the sun. I don't remember seeing it. I know things, but I can't remember what they look like. I have no memories or feeling attached to anything.

Anything but darkness and this cell and it. Fear, I think it's called. The chill that runs over my spine like a whip, my body rigid, my breathing heavy. It becomes hard to remember what anything else feels like. Felt like.

I know I had a family. I know their names. I don't remember their faces, I don't remember their voices. I don't feel anything when I think of them.

Axel, Sage, Andrew. I know they are the names of my brothers. Lilly and Cole. I know they are the names of my parents. I know that I'm 18. I know that I've been gone 4 years. I know facts. I don't feel a longing for things I don't remember. I don't miss them because I don't feel for them.

But I feel for It.

It makes me feel disgust. It makes me shake from fear. It is the only thing I will always remember. It is why I don't remember. It is why I'm here.

I think a lot. It's the only thing I can do. I can think. I can't move much, my cell more like a coffin. I can't hear anything, noise doesn't travel this far. I have no one to talk to. I'm all alone. Except for when it comes.

"My beauty, what have I missed?" His words send an electrocution through my body. Beauty, the reason I'm still here. It said so. It unlocks the cell and pulls me into the equally dark and cold room.

I don't speak, I haven't for years. As his hand raises I don't move. He likes it when I move, so I don't.

A sound. I don't remember it. It's deep, it makes the ground shake. It vibrates through my body. And that cold slices through my spine like a dull knife. I fear this sound. It's animalistic. It-It's a...

My inner thoughts are broken by the sound again. It's closer, it's in the dark. The fear rolling off of me, I notice, seems not to be for me.

But for It. This sound seems to calm some deep centered part of me. This-this roar.

Something happens. I no longer see black. My eyes close. I can't open them. They burn and for the first time in years a sound leaves my mouth. A hiss of pain. I stumble backwards, trying my hardest to get to somewhere without this white. This light.

I open my eyes again, everything blurry, everything mashing together. I see it on the floor. I see something, someone on top of him.

The sound again. The roar. It's coming for the person on top of it. He makes me feel safe. The owner of the sound.

Safe. I don't remember the last time I felt this. This warm feeling. That I could relax. That I could speak. Maybe even laugh.

Then the roar again. The comforting sound.

And screams. Screams poring from it. Screams that would have once came from me. Begging and pleading to quit the assault. More growls, from every corner of the room. I feel surrounded, and for the first time I realize there are more like the monster filling the room.

It lays still. Screams no longer coming from his mouth. Air no longer coming from his lungs.

Dead.

It's over. I think. But then I realize the owner of the roar is coming towards me. That I'm next. And honestly, I won't fight it.

~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys! This is my first book so don't be too harsh with me, but I would love some constructive criticism. Thanks for reading. Have a great day.