Sometimes

Chapter thirty

I heard Cassie sigh as she leaned forward so that all four chair legs were resting on the floor again.  Mr. Henderson’s comment didn’t seem to ruin her good mood though.

    “I mean,” she continued as if we hadn’t even been interrupted.  “He’s so going to pick me over all of the other spoons who are going to try and snare him before I can.”  She looked slightly worried then, as if being in class for the next two hours was going to hinder her chance of hooking up with Mike.  “We’ll have to find him at break.”

I wasn’t even surprised that Cassie had pulled me into her plan to bag the guy she’d been after for the last year.  “Isn’t that degrading yourself though?” I asked.

Cassie turned to look at me, her forehead a little creased.  “How?”

I shrugged.  “Well, shouldn’t you wait and see whether they get back together first?  I mean, if you wait a couple of weeks and they’re still apart, then you’ll know for sure that Mike won’t just be using you to make Lara jealous.”

    “You want me to wait a couple of weeks?  Harriet, it’s already been a day! Do you know how many other girls there are, trying to steal him away from me?”

I didn’t know the exact number, but I was sure Cassie could tell me their name, age and star sign. 

    “I can’t just wait around,  I have to be proactive.”

I raised my other eyebrow.  “But you’ll be a rebound then.”

Cassie didn’t even bat an eyelid.  “Nope.  I’ve got it all worked out.  He’ll think it’s a rebound at first, and then he’ll fall madly in love with me when he gets to realise what a great person I am.”

I laughed, loving the way Cassie’s mind worked but also to hide the massive flaw in her plan.  She hadn’t even spoken to him before.  Why was now so different?

    “I wonder if he reads Zelda’s blogs?  It would be so awesome if he did!”

At the sound of the word ‘awesome,’ Cassie’s distraction disintegrated into nothing and I was left thinking about Sonny again.  My favourite image of him surfaced in my mind; the one where he’d smiled at me before we kissed, looking at me as if I were the only girl in the room.  My stomach knotted and I hooked my feet behind the front two chair legs, trying to force my thoughts to stay in the room with Mr. Henderson’s battered briefcase and Cassie’s love-struck expression.  Anything to stop myself from diving back into the void in my gut. 

    Break time wouldn’t come around fast enough.  I’d wiled the last two hours away with sheer guts and concentration, focusing wholly on this moment.  Walking out of the classroom door, I let out a huge breath.  It felt like I’d been holding it since Cassie had said ‘awesome,’ triggering all of my Sonny memories to flood my thoughts.  I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life wondering what if?  Clutching at straws, hoping Leanne would change her mind so Sonny could pick me, but it was like I wasn’t ready to let go.  Not just yet.  Not until I was absolutely certain that I was never, ever, going to end up with him.  I blamed all of the chick flick books I’d ever read, cramming me with false hope after reading about how the girl always got the guy in the end. 

    I was still thinking about my own happy ending when Cassie pulled me down to sit next to her on our gossip bench.  I shivered at the cold air biting at my exposed skin and squinted up at the cloudy sky. 

    “Why are we choosing to freeze to death?” I asked, stuffing my hands into my bag so I could retrieve my chocolate bar.  “Mike always spends break in the canteen.”