dreamland (bill skarsgard one shots)

08. moment of clarity

The way you sang along softly to the words of each song, swaying your hips slightly in rhythm with the music. You were busy dusting the fireplace mantle, standing on your tiptoes, your shirt riding up to expose a sliver of your tummy.

Bill's chest was aching, a sudden image of you bustling around the home you owned together, happy and content, flashing in his mind. Oh, he was certainly in deep, already thinking about how things would be if he were to spend the rest of his life with you.

In the beginning of this all, he never could have imagined how far this would go, how greatly you would affect him. He'd been the worst version of himself at that time. Hurt and betrayed by his previous lover, the woman he'd been with for two years, the woman he'd given everything to, only to have her throw it right back into his face. 

He'd wanted to marry her, even bought a ring. But she'd blindsided him, one day telling him that she'd fallen out of love with him and wanted to move on with her life. He later found out that she'd left him for someone else, and it absolutely crushed him.

He was on a downwards spiral when he met you, and in his state of bitterness and spite, he slept with you. It was his unhealthy way of getting back at the woman who'd broken him. But after that night, he found that he wanted more.

For a while, it was something to ease the pain, like a drug prescribed. He kept coming back for more, spending most of his nights in your bed, wrapped around your body. You made him feel whole, you quelled the emptiness in his bones.

How could he not fall for you?
And now here he was, staring at you with eyes so full of adoration. He had to look away then, pushing those thoughts out of his head. What good were they if he couldn't express them to you?

Instead, he carried on with the day, enjoying your company. Later in the afternoon, he drove you to the nearest town, and you bought some groceries to last you several days, especially if you ended up getting snowed in.

Upon arriving back at the cottage, a simple dinner of pasta was made, paired with glassfuls of wine and a roaring fire burning in the fireplace. Warm and half-drunk, you fucked on the floor atop fur rugs, slow and deep, with Bill covering you with his entire body, making you feel safe and protected from the rest of the world.

By the time you were finished, you barely made it up to the couch before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep. And that's what brought you to the present moment, during the dawn of the next day, standing on the grand front porch attached to the cottage and taking in your surroundings.

Bill was still sound asleep last time you checked, passed out on the couch with the blankets strewn across his bare body. You'd snagged his shirt from the floor, pulling it on along with your own pants, draping a heavy blanket over yourself before stepping outside.

You relished in the alone time, clearing your head and gaining your bearings. Yesterday had been quite the day. You'd spent more time around Bill than you were used to, and you were overwhelmed.

It wasn't that he made you uncomfortable. Oh no, far from it. In fact, he made you feel safe. He made you feel wonderful. And that was what scared you. You had not felt this way for a long time.

Your last relationship had not been a good one. Nor had almost every relationship you'd ever been in. You'd long since convinced yourself that you just did not have good luck when it came to relationships, and therefore were not meant to be in one.