Black Beauty | 1 → DIVERGENT AU ✓

59 | Goodbye

"Just a couple more minutes," she murmured, surprising me by reaching for my hand. "It's all I need right now, Eric."

"I know, sweetheart," I began, squeezing her hand gently. "I, uh, just wanted to tell you that I'm supposed to be leaving in ten minutes. .To Dauntless."

Penelope tugged at my hand, gently pulling me to her side. A frown quickly fell over her sweet face, her eyes shifting back over to the small headstone in front of us. I followed her gaze, reading the name I'd already read more times than I could keep track of.

James Agrippa.

"It's what we need to do," Penelope said, her voice just above a whisper. "It's what I need to do, Eric. For now. Or—" She stopped abruptly.

"What?" I asked quietly, looking over at her.

"Or until things are how they should've been a year ago. . .If that's even an option anymore."

As much as it pained me to admit, I knew exactly what Penelope meant. Us reconciling wasn't set in stone. There was so much we first needed to work through before even thinking a future was awaiting us. One where I wouldn't continue treating her how I'd done on plenty of occasions. If I ever wanted things to work out, then I needed to set myself straight, away from Penelope for the time being.

We needed to go our separate ways. Not permanently I hoped. Despite knowing how much I deserved for Penelope to leave me for good, I still wanted her by my side. I needed her there for me because after so many grueling months together, she stayed put. Despite every fucked up thing, Penelope continued having faith I would change for the better.

But the things she'd said to me the night of her miscarriage continued to come back.

"I'll understand," I murmured, squeezing her hand once again. "Whatever happens. .after today. .I'll understand why it happened."

Penelope sighed. "At this point, I really don't know what will happen, Eric. I just know we need to be alone—you in Dauntless while I stay here. Maybe we should've done that long ago."

She was right. I should've given her freedom I'd selfishly withheld from her.

"And when all of Chicago hears of what we're doing?" I asked her, finally getting her to meet my eyes.

"They don't have to know the extent of why we're doing what we're doing. We have every right to keep the details to ourselves." She paused for a quick second, faintly frowning. "Part of the reason we can give them is because of what happened."

"The baby," I mumbled, gritting my teeth afterwards.

"Yeah. . .I can't go back to that apartment and I don't think I can physically withstand being in Dauntless. For the time being, Amity will serve as my little safe haven."

"Because it's something I could never give you. Isn't that right?"

Penelope let go of my hand and turned, her smaller frame facing my larger one. Her delicate hands reached up, gently cupping my tense jaw. She shook her head, a sad smile forming across her rosy lips.

"No, Eric. Stop saying things like that. We're at a new turning point, whether we want to or not. It may seem like I'm abandoning you. .but I'm not. I'll still be there for you. Come down here when you can and if you can. Forgiving you isn't something I'm ready to do just yet, but I still wanna be there for you."