All My Fault... (BxB)

Let's start over...

“I swear,” Derek said, mournfully shaking his head, “We raised our kids right. What in the hell went wrong.” My heart sank like a rock, tears streaming silently down my face. Here it comes... “I never thought that despite us teaching all our children that love is love and doesn't have a gender, our oldest girl is still homophobic.”

“What?” I asked, genuinely surprised. I thought he would side with Courtney and call Ian and I sins and me his demonic whore or something to that affect.

“I myself am bisexual.” Derek said with a smile. Ian looked flabbergasted, “I couldn't very well tell you before, Ian, back when you still thought you were straight. I mean, look what Seth coming out early did to you. At first it didn't matter to you, do you remember? Than Seth moved in to your school, you had a crush on him back then too, you would come home and tell us all about what the pretty guy at school did that day and then he announced to the school he was gay and the closet door you were just beginning to peek out of slammed shut. It took you another three years to re-explore those feelings and ended up hating that part of yourself.” I flushed bright red, trying desperately to piece together me and Ian's past.

We used to be friends and he always hugged me at the end of the day smiling, it was when I very first started crushing on him—in fact. It was Ian that made me realized I liked guys, it was his warm, muscular arms wrapped around me that made me see that I didn't like girls the way I liked Ian. Then last week when I crushed him up against a car and kissed him senseless—the exact thing that made him slam his closet door shut made him throw it right back open.

Flashback—after school, the day Seth came home and announced to his father that he was gay—

“Ian! Ian wait up!” I called, hot on his hells as he began to walk home. I had never been to Ian's house but he'd come to mine more than once, sense it was before his.

“So....you're gay?” he asked, nervously, coming to a halt a block away from the school.

“Yeah!” I said happily, in the boyxboy novels I had been reading, this is the part where Ian (my best friend and secret crush) tells me he's gay too, and then we kiss passionately before clasping hands and going to my house to talk about our feelings and when we first realized we liked the other one.

“Oh...” he drawled, shifting his feet and looking to the ground, looking like he was thinking hard. I mentally flipped through all the books I had read and remembered that sometimes it wasn't until after the kiss and a slap, followed by a week or so of avoidance that the other boy admits his feelings. I nodded to myself as a plan formed and braced myself for some sort of hit—Ian didn't strike me as the slapping type.

“I...Ian, I...” I blew out a frustrated breath and Ian looked up. I mumbled gibberish to get him closer, which of course he did.

“Wha?” he ask, getting about two inches away, cocking his head to hear me better.

I took a dramatic breath and lunged forward, capturing his mouth with my own, holding his face in my hands, I think he started kissing back ever before I flicked my tongue out on his lower lip and moaned. Then everything came crashing down, Ian shoved me away and punched me hard in the eye, his face screamed he was disgusted and he wiped away my kiss with the sleeve of his jacket. “WHAT THE HELL MAN?!” his voice broke on the last word and he kicked me hard with each syllable he spoke.

“Stay!” kick to the ribs.

“The!” kick to my stomach, instantly making me swallow back vomit.

“Hell!” kick to my mouth, I tasted blood.

“A!” kick to my head—I saw spots and fought to stay awake, crying out just a little. Ian hesitated for a second before his eyes fired back up and he continued.