The Most Beautiful Thing

Chapter 29

"Who's Yuan?" Sabi niya. Tumawa naman kaming lahat. He's still the same old protective Red.

I told them everything. Kwinento ko lahat pero ang mga part na umiiyak ako sa club kasama si June at Mandy pati na rin ang pagkabaliw ko sa apartment dahil sa hirap ng pagm-move on ay hindi ko na sinabi pa. Syempre at nandon si Red, at hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin siyang alam.

But I'm glad that I'm okay now. Hindi ko na siya naiisip pa because I push away the thought of him everytime. I always keep myself busy.

I kinda feel sad whenever I think about Yuan. Yuan is much more of a cold person to others pero if kilala mo siya ng mabuti, he's really sweet.

Namimiss ko rin kasi siya. Although he's a proof of my selfishness. I admit that sumagi rin naman sa isip ko na hayaan siyang tulungan akong makalimot. After all, I can make myself believe na katulad siya ni Max because he was sweet, gentle and caring to me.

But still, the guy I loved is different. Hindi lang sa ugali kundi pati sa lahat.

Kahit na san anggulo ko tignan. Hindi talaga. Max is still different. Iba yung pagka-gentle niya, iba yung pagka genuine niya. Maybe it was just me forcing myself to believe na ganon din si Yuan.. but he's not.

I hate comparing. Kaya I stopped comparing him to Max and just appreciated him for who he is. Pero dahil dun, never akong nainlove sakanya. It's kinda selfish to think that I got close to someone because he reminds me of someone who used to be so important to me.

But I stopped when I realize how selfish I am. Masyadong siyang mabait.. and I can't fall in love with him just for the idea that he reminds me of Max.

"Paano kayo naging close? In fairness, he's gwapo!" Jane said behind me giving me a thumbs-up. Nasa kanila kasi ang phone ko right now at ineexplore ang camera roll ko. I got busy back in NYC that hindi ko sila nauupdate when it comes to my whereabouts.

"Well. Nung una nag-paturo lang siya sakin sa pag paint because he's an Engineer and his artworks are mostly sketches pero interested siya sa Painting. So ayun, tinuruan ko siya and we got close because of it," I told them.

After our short discussion about Yuan and my life in NYC, naging tahimik ang byahe pauwi because naka-idlip ako. Hindi na nila ako ginising pa dahil alam nilang masakit pa ang ulo ko from the flight.

I woke up with an extreme headache ng gisingin ako ni Red dahil nandito na kami sa apartment. Tumingin ako sa likod at nakitang wala na ang mga kaibigan ko.

"Hinatid ko na sila. They said they will come back tomorrow. Magpahinga ka muna daw," Red said habang binuksan ang pinto para kunin ang mga bag ko. Nag-unat ako at saka bumaba na rin.

I looked at the apartment complex at agad na bumalik sakin lahat. Lahat ng kinakalimutan ko for the past five years. Lahat ito ay bumalik lang saakin, pero hindi na ganon kasakit. I smiled bitterly.

I sighed as I walked papasok sa loob. I have to distract myself.. hindi dapat maalala ko ito ulit. It took me 5 years to move on. Hindi ko dapat hayaan ang isang minutong pag-alala sa lahat ng nangyare sirain ang lahat ng yun.

But then again, hindi naman masama maalala ang memories diba? Maybe hindi pa ako nakakamove on sa memories... but with Max... wala na. Tanggap ko na. I've accepted the fact that our paths will never cross again. At mas mabuti ng ganon.

It took me awhile to forget about everything and ayaw ko ma-question yun pag nakita ko siya.

"I never touched your room. Pinalinis ko lang sa room service.." Red said as we entered the apartment. Wala ngang masyadong nag-bago. But Red moved around some furnitures dahil napansin kong iba na ang ayos ng sofa set at ng flat screen.