Gasoline // Newtmas

Chapter 15: Back To Normal

At lunch, I look for Thomas, the thought of spending time with him making me smile properly for what seems to be the first time in a long time. It's unbelievable what a single person can do to you, especially one whom you've harbored feelings for since the moment you met. I'm disappointed when I don't see him, assuming he's probably got an appointment or something. He doesn't mention the voices as much anymore, so my guess is they're getting better. 

Just like mine. 

I haven't heard them since my kiss with Tommy, and I'm going to mention that in my review. Not the kissing part, of course. The part about me getting better. 

I'd forgotten what that even was. I never thought I'd get better, never thought that I'd actually be allowed to be myself. Maybe I'll be able to help Lizzie. 

Maybe it'll be like when we were kids; when we were a normal brother and sister. 

Maybe she'll be proud of me. 

Don't get your hopes up, Newt. 

I hear my name being called, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I'm surprised to see Gally. I haven't really spoken to him since Thomas arrived, since they got into that fight, not bothering to pay attention to the voices insisting that I be his friend. 

Let's face it, you like Thomas a hell of a lot more than him. 

I take my seat opposite him. Thomas won't tell me, but I know there's something going on between him and Gally, and part of me wants to know why. I know he killed Chuck when he meant to shoot Thomas. 

Bastard. 

But why was Thomas the target that night? Why did Gally hate him so much?

I can't possibly see why anyone would hate him. He's Tommy. But then again, of course, you'd say that. Of course you think he's perfect. Stop smiling, you look like an idiot. 

"Um, hi Gally."

The brute in front of me tucks into his meal, nodding as an acknowledgement of my presence. It's amazing how some people love the crap that we get served. 

Crappy food for a crappy person. 

I'm silent as I sit, actually eating for once. I guess I'm well on my way to recovery now. Gally is the one to speak, almost scaring me when I hear his dull tones. 

"You seen that Thomas kid?"

I swallow, regretting my decision to sit with him instantly. 

"No, why?"

You're a terrible liar.

"Feeling the need for someone to punch," he accepts my denial turning back to his food like its the most casual thing in the world. 

Okay, turns out you're not that bad a liar. 

"Why him? What went on between you two?", I'm surprised at my boldness and expecting a punch in the face, or at least to be yelled at. But neither thing happens; instead, it's as if Gally has closed off, as if I've hit a nerve that'll lead to a road he doesn't want to go down. 

He almost seems human. 

"Oh, you know. Just turf wars and that shit."

Right, sure.

After lunch, I'm called to my review with Paige. It goes how it always does, that is until I choose to speak. I'm pretty sure she's shocked when I tell her that the voices have quietened down. 

Well, it's not like she actually believed you were going to get better. Serves her right, stuck up tart. Wait, why is she smiling?

That's terrifying. Please don't do that again, I think I'll have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. I said stop. Stop smiling. 

"That's great, Newt. That shows real progress. In fact, we've all noticed it. Which is why I think it would be a good time to start talking about your release."

Wait. What?

They want to release me? Like out there? Into the world? I mean, that's amazing and petrifying all at the same time. I'll actually get a life. I'll be with Lizzie and, and-

That's it. 

I won't be with Tommy anymore. 

Oh. 

Bloody hell. Why is nothing simple anymore? It used to be easy, well as easy as being in a mental asylum can be. And then he showed up and everything got complicated. 

I liked complicated. 

Maybe even more than liked it. 

"You'll have a three month probationary period of course, and you'll be living with your sister. We've already spoken to her and she's more than happy to let you stay with her."

Just stop talking. Stop fucking talking. I need to think about this, you twat. 

It's alright for you, it won't change your life forever. You're not being made to choose between Lizzie and Tommy. 

Between your fucking sister and your fucking boyfriend. 

Shit shit shit. 

 "You'll be out in the next few weeks, that is, if you're up to it?"

I let go of the breath I didn't even know I was holding, and a few seconds seems to last a few years. There's no way this is actually happening. There's no way I might actually be getting my life back. 

But I already have a life. With Tommy. 

You can always visit him. You won't leave him forever. 

Shut up. 

No. 

Fuck, she's waiting for an answer. Okay, here goes. 

"I'm definitely up for it, Dr. Paige. Thank you so much."

Liar.

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Hi guys, 

I know this chapter was short and I'm really sorry, but I hope it was okay for you lot! Just two things: I started a blog and there's only one post on it, but if you guys could check it out that would be awesome! Second thing: I wrote what I believe would be Thomas' response to Newt's letter in The Death Cure would be, so again if you guys could check that out, that would be great! Links are just below!

Thank you so much!

Love, 

LJ xx

Blog

https://justabuddingauthor.wordpress.com/

The Letter

https://www.wattpad.com/533061912-noughts-and-crosses-a-collection-of-newtmas-one