The Cure

Chapter 12: You don't exist

I walk down a road filled with brick houses and front gardens before I find a litle strip of shops and when I see a small cafe, I head to it, ordering a coffee. Then, as I look at the rain falling from the sky, dripping on the windows, I sigh. This is all such a big mess. Why won't he just tell me? It won't be that bad, whatever it is, but then I am reminded of him killing someone. Maybe I wil hate what it is, but would it change my view of him? No, I don't think so. At the end of the day, I am still here after everything, so why would he still be afraid of me hating him?
Another aspect of the argument that worried me was when he said he would make sure I wasn't involved. Why? Can I not decide for myself whether or not I want to be involved? Granted, I probably wouldn't want to be, but still, I should get to decide, it is my life. Maybe he is protecting me, but I still deserve to know what from, don't I?
The phone in my pocket buzzes and his name pops up on the screen.

From Nathan

I'm sorry Lily, I was an idiot, please come home x

Yes, you were, I think before putting the phone down. I don't want to go back, I can't face him, not yet. I want some space and then I will go back. I need to just breathe for a second, I need to be able to think when he isn't there to distract me, I need to be alone.

From Nathan

Lily, I need you, I miss you, I hate that you're mad at me, please x

To Nathan

I hate being mad at you, but it's your fault x

I reply, feeling strong and confident, like I should. He needs to know that I will not go to him whenever he wants me to, that I do what I want because I want to.

From Nathan

I know, it is all my fault and I am so sorry. I shouldn't have acted the way I did, I shouldn't have said the things I said, I didn't mean any of them, I just need you right now. I need to speak to you and tell you the truth, all of it. You were right, you have a right to know, you deserve an explanation, no, you deserve more than that, just come home, or tell me where you are and I will come and get you x

When I have finished reading it, I feel myself becoming weaker and weaker, the temptation to leave and go back to him stronger. I want to, but should I? He promised he would tell me the truth, all of it isn't that what I wanted from the beginning? Isn't that what the argument was over?

To Nathan

I'm coming back, I missed you too x

I reply and stand up, taking my coffee with me as I make my way back to him, ready for the truth and prepared that I will deal with whatever it may be.
I reach the door, but it is already opened, and he is stood there, his face a picture of pain and guilt. When his eyes find mine, they brighten and before I know it, I am hugging him, hs face buried in the crook of my neck, covered by my hair.
"Lily," he whispers, squeezing me tighter, before he lets me go. He then takes my hand and leads me to the sofa, but all I see is the mass of pillows everywhere, more things broken, smashed into pieces and a bottle of whiskey, empty.
"You drank whiskey?"
"I was about to, then I realised how stupid I was being and put it down," he explained and I knew he was't lying, he wasn't hiding anything, he was telling me how it is. Maybe this is where it starts. When we reach the sofa, we sit down and he begins, not looking at me.
"This might be a bit much for you Lily but I trust you, I do and that's why I am going to tell you everything but please, listen to me before you judge or become afraid, promise me you'll listen?" I nod, telling him I promise because I can. I can listen to him, the least I can do is listen.
"Okay, when I was thirteen, my parents became ill, I mean really ill. They weren't able to move without assistance, and so I had to care for them and get an education. When I was fifteen, they died, my mother first and my father a day after. They say he died of a broken heart. Afterwards, I felt like a failure. I kept blaming myself, for not looking after them well enough, for going to school when I should have been with them, and so I became angry. I became the boy at school who everyone feared because I was so alone. Kids used to talk to me, say vile things to me, so I would hit them, and then I was known for being a good fighter. I would go to dark alleys after school and fight for money, because nobody woud give me proper job. It was something I was good at, so I got better and better until I was a real street fighter.
"Then, one night, I was walking home from a fight, I had a bloody nose and broozed eye, but that was it. I saw a woman, she was beautiful. She was literally perfect and she came nearer. I wasn't able to move until she was beside me, her teeth on my neck. I thought I was going to die, the pain was unbearable, I had literally never cried so much. I thought I was dead at eighteen, when she stopped. I watched as she smiled a sickly, evil smile and then ran away, faster than anyone could ever have done before. I lay in that alley for three days, but of course, no one cared. No one missed me, and so when I regained strength, when I became able to move, I felt different. I was different. I wasn't me anymore, I was a fictional character, something I thought was impossible," he whispers and I sit staring, you promsied you would listen, I remind myself, so I say nothing and continue to listen to the horrifying, traumatising story.
"I began to fight again, but whenever I fought and gave a man a broken nose, I would feel drawn to him, I would feel thirsty? I was in the middle of a fight and the man was bleeding heavily, and I was so close, I was about to do it, to drink, when Kyle found me, he dragged me away from the street and explained that he was the same as me, and that he would help me. I had seen him around school sometimes, but never acknowledged him. He told me that he knew about me, about my parents, about how I lived, and so I listened. Then he did something I would never have expected, he gave me a job as well as a way out. He told me he worked witha group of men who killed the evil, blood drinkers. Since Kyle isn't a blood drinker, they asked if he would help them and so he did. Then, he asked me if I wanted to help. I said yes.
"For years we worked, he taught me how to act normal, to hide what I was and live normally. He taught me that I needed contact lenses, to stay away from blood, never run unless necessary and things like that. I was so grateful and I was able to live alone for the first time. I was normal for the first time, then he went a step better and told me about the next job. We were looking for a group, a huge group, who not only killed for fun, but held the cure. The cure for vampirism. I have worked so hard and am working so hard Lily, I need that cure, I hate what I am, I need the cure," he says and I watch as he looks up at me for the first time. He puts his fingers in his eyes and pulls off the green covers, unveiling vibrant, terrifyingly bright red eyes. Shit.
"I hate not aging, I hate not living, I want to be human, you need to know that, you have every right to be scared and hate me, I'm sorry, I should have told you before," he says but I continue to sit, speechless, it explains so much.

His fear of bood.

Why he didn't bleed during the fight.

His inhuman speed.

Why the man had red eyes.

Why he killed him.

The secrets.

The lies.

Why he doesn't want me involved.

Why he was scared I would hate him.

Nathan is a vampire.

What do you think? x