The death defying question

I try to figure out why i live only to die,
I try to understand what that means as days go by
The distance until death shortens by the hour
If only i could live forever; if only I, too had that power
More days go on by,
I feel inside
The thoughts and urges to mess with how my future stands;
With my tomorrow crumbled in the bottomless abyss known as my hand
I,
hope to be immortal, but i am too afraid to live forever
When I started thinking about this, I thought that it would be clever, To,
Be by you;
the one who never dies;
who never lies; who never has a single tear erupt from within their eyes
I,
know of the pain
That some may inadvertently gain
If they walk the path of the immortal human man with thoughts along the rain,
But
it's too complicated, to fully understand,
Why
We have short lives,
Our essence trapped inside,
Why we can never leave this body Until the moment that we die,
But,
What happens, when we take our final breath,
what is left,
In our life but only the hour of our death.
I,
chose to write this, with my feelings in my hand,
putting thePen to the paper, So that you fully understand,
why I,Need to know what i can do to be my self,
And not a corpse in a coffin, like a toy trapped on a shelf
So I'll ask you, time and time again, until all of the answers come heavily rushing in,
I say this: the immortal to the man
Because Time may stop for me, But for you, it never ends