fear. || { bnha }

twenty eight.

She felt at home.

"Valui?" She was snapped out of her daze by a hand waving in front of her face. Blue eyes blinked, head tilting up to see Hitoshi staring at her, a vaguely concerned look on his face. "You okay? You've just been staring for a while."

Valui nodded, her face breaking out into a smile as she pulled Hitoshi toward a wall of albums. "I'm just really happy, is all~"

And she was, in an ironic, juxtaposing way. Here she was, with one parent dead and the other barring her from coming home and yet she felt...happy. It extended past the music shop; past Hitoshi; past all of it. It was as if some weight had been lifted off of her small shoulders and she could finally breathe easily without the fear of someone snapping at her; of reminding her of what she could never be; of making her feel like she did something wrong simply by being born.

"Do you want one?" Hitoshi asked, looking from her to the seemingly endless number of CDs that lined the shelves on the wall. "I wouldn't mind buying you one." He smiled at her, but Valui pouted back.

"But Hitoshi—" She stopped reading off band and artist names, familiar and unfamiliar, to look up at him. "—you already bought me two things today. I'd feel bad if you kept spending money on me."

First he saves her more times than she can count; then he lets her stay at his house for nothing in return; and now he's spending all his money on her?

I don't want to burden you.

"But I want to spend money on you." His smile stayed, if not softening a bit. "It's worth it, if it makes you smile."

If they weren't in public, Valui could have cried. Part of it was the way he said it — with so much sincerity that it couldn't possibly be construed as any other way than completely genuine. The other part was how it reminded her of two very true things: that she had gone her entire life never once being treated like this; and that, finally, someone loved her enough to.

Valui managed a small smile back, holding back the urge to fling her arms around him and cry. "O-okay." With a soft squeeze to his hand, she turned her head back to the wall of CDs. Her eyes scanned across the cover pictures and names, skimming quickly over the ones she already had or didn't know. Her eyes stopped on a specific one, her hand dropping from Hitoshi's so she could grab onto a shelf to steady her as she stood on her toes to grab it. She turned to Hitoshi, holding it in her hands with a small smile. "I, um, found one I want."

"Alright, cool." Hitoshi smiled back, holding one of his hands out to her. "I'll go pay for it and you can keep looking around if you want."

She nodded in acknowledgment and handed Hitoshi the CD. Valui had started to turn back to the other albums on the shelves when she saw his expression change slightly. A small degree of anxiety washed over her. "W-what?"

Hitoshi glanced up, his head tilted off to one side slightly. "BTS?" he asked, turning his wrist to show the front of the album. "I didn't know you were into, uh... What's it called? K-pop?"

Valui felt her face get warm, though she wasn't exactly sure why. "I-I, uh— N-not really, only, um, them."

A soft laugh escaped him and filled Valui's ears while a kiss was pressed against her forehead. "It's fine," he assured with an undertone of affectionate teasing. "It's cute." When a small smile ghosted onto her mouth, Hitoshi pulled back from her. "I'm gonna go buy it now, alright?"

Valui nodded, watching briefly as Hitoshi walked toward the front of the store to the register. She, on the other hand, went deeper into the store. Walls of CDs and vinyls turned into instruments and tech books; from concert instruments to every style and type of guitar imaginable; and, finally, to what she had been hoping to find the moment she became aware of this store's existence.

In the very back of the store sat a fully put together drum set; a pair of sticks were resting on top of the seat.

Valui had never had any interest in concert instruments — which didn't matter in the first place, as that wasn't what her music club focused on anyway. She couldn't play guitar or bass because of the size and weight of them compared to her own. She'd much rather die than try to sing. So what was left was the drums — and she had picked it up easily, and gotten fairly good at it in a short period of time.

A look of comfort and ease crossed her face as she held the drumsticks in her hand, settling herself down onto the seat. The expression changed into one of happiness when a single tap to each drum produced the noise she wanted. The taps spiraled on from there, turning into a small beat she'd thought up in the moment — improvisation was something she was good at, as per the fact that she had taught herself instead of receiving proper teaching.

It didn't last long — no more than thirty seconds; just long enough to satiate her until she finally went back to school. Upon hitting the final beat, her eyes flickered up to meet Hitoshi's. He was standing off to the side, a look of admiration and surprise on his face.

"Where'd you learn that?"

Valui slid off the seat and set the drumsticks back on top of it, making her way over to him with a small spring in her step. "I taught myself." She took his hand, swinging it happily, the smile on her face never faltering. "My school forced clubs on us and, long story short, I ended up teaching myself."

Hitoshi paused for a moment, seemingly processing what she had said, before nodding slightly. "You'll have to tell me sometime," he started, leading her back out of the store and onto the sidewalk. When he looked to her again, he smiled, almost shyly. "Maybe... Over food? If you're hungry?"

Valui blinked, then nodded. It was getting to be dinnertime, judging by how the sky had started shifting from blue to orange, and she was starting to get hungry. "Right now?"

"Mhm. Right now."

"Then yeah, let's go~!"