Lady of the Night (Downworlder Series, #3)

Chapter Sixteen: Bedroom Hymns

I stepped into the master bedroom, eyes gravitating towards the bed. I frowned and groaned softly to myself. I should have been dragging Miles into this room, pushing him onto that bed, and having my way with him like I knew we both wanted. I wanted to bang my head against the wall and knock out the little voice in the back of my head that kept helping me sabotage all the good things in my life. I knew this wasn't going to be the only opportunity for us to be together, but it was the perfect situation. It was just the two of us, no kids, and that was going to be a hard pressed situation for us to find in the future.

"Are you okay, Quinta?" His voice was low and I looked over my shoulder to here he was leaned against the door jamb of the bedroom. His arms were crossed against his chest, making his t-shirt stretch over his muscles.

I gave him a small smile, nodding my head. I was definitely far from okay. I wanted to rip off his clothes but for some reason I was afraid to do just that. It was frustrating, "Of course I'm okay. I just want to get all this packing done before it gets too late."

"No, you aren't." He was staring at me, his eyes boring into me and I didn't know how to react to his words. He shifted off the doorjamb and moved towards me. "Something is bothering you, bonita." He was close to me, close enough that I could reach out and touch if I wanted and it just caused that confusion to swarm me even worse. I wanted to hold him close, needed to, but I also wanted to hide from him and never go near him again.

I blinked slowly, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and rolling it between my teeth. It was hard being vulnerable. It was scarier than most of the things I had face in my life. Still, I knew that Miles wanted to make this thing between us work. I knew he wasn't going to run away. I let out a slow breath, "I guess I'm just nervous about being with you. Everything is different with you." I felt embarrassed by how I was acting. It should have been easy for me to be with him like that but I was finding it to be harder than a lot of things I had ever done before.

"Why?" There was a faint bit of confusion to his tone, as if he wasn't entirely sure of why I felt the way I did. I knew I didn't have any clue as to why I did.

I reached up and pulled at my curls, sighing in slight frustration, "I've had a lot of sex. I know how to have sex. Sex is easy..." I stared up into his dark eyes, "but I've never been with anyone I cared about before. I've never been with anyone who cared about me...about what I wanted. I've never made love to anyone before, I don't know how to do this." I gestured between us.

He looked at me carefully, letting the silence build around us at my admission and I felt a bit ashamed for what I was feeling. It should have been easy but for some stupid reason I felt it was getting to be an almost impossible task. "You think too much." He said it so bluntly I was taken aback.

"That is what you choose to say?" I narrowed my eyes at him as he moved away from me to sit on the edge of his bed. He gestured me over and I narrowed my eyes at him further unsure of whether or not to trust him.

"Come." He gestured again and I slowly moved to stand in front of him. He grasped one of my hands. "You think too much. Your thinking mind is creating barriers due to fear and anxiety, bonita." He massaged my hand before pressing a kiss to the middle of my palm. It made me shiver as heat slowly started it way through me once more. "There is nothing more natural than what will occur between us." He let my hand go to grasp my hips, pulling me closer as he widened his legs. "You think too much and you are making it so you only see an insurmountable task." He looked up at me and leaned forward and nuzzled my belly. I wanted to push him away as it tickled.

I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed at him, my stomach fluttering, "I am working on it. I am. It's just this is all new to me. I'm just trying to do this right...if there is a right way to do this..."

He gave a thoughtful look before a wicked grin crossed his face. "Well I doubt there is a wrong way. You take off your clothes, I take off mine and then we both get into the bed an-" I shoved at his shoulders with a disgruntled sound as my cheeks heated up.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." I puffed out my cheeks in slight annoyance. I was being honest with him and he was teasing me. Still, it was hard to be mad at Miles. Especially when he was as close to me as he was, and he was making me want him as badly as I did.

"I want to see you smile." He said it gently and I immediately wanted to melt. Why did he have to be so thoughtful and gorgeous? "I can see how this is distressing you, how it is weighing you down. I want you to understand that I am not going to push for anything but for you to laugh and smile until you are comfortable enough with me to take that step." His words were surprising and I bit at my thumbnail as I looked down at him.

"Really?" I was... shocked. Most males wanted sex but he was telling me he was content with waiting. "But you are so... bossy." He ordered everyone around and had this aura of he would do things how he did them and others would listen and obey.

His eyes flashed as he looked up at me. "I am a dominate male, Quinta. I am above all and I like it that way. I speak and people listen." The rumbling way he said it had my chest and neck flushing from something decidedly not embarrassment. "I am dominant but what is more dominant than allowing my female to set the pace for our encounters? What is more dominant than allowing her to explore at her leisure? What is more dominant than making sure she is in the right mindset before we come together?" He looked up at me, flexing his hands on my hips before digging those strong fingers into my flesh slightly. I shivered underneath the touch.

"Too many males believe dominance comes with absolute submission, that they must bend others to their wills regardless of everything else." His mouth tugged up into a smirk as his heated gaze locked onto mine. "Dominance is knowing when to let another take charge and express themselves. You are my female and I must do nothing but make sure you are comfortable and okay with me and our relationship." He said it so easily that I was a little floored.

I stared down at him all of my anxieties and insecurities fading away. There was nothing for me to fear about coming together with Miles. Even if there were awkward moments. Even if we stumbled and fumbled through the first time like teenagers. I wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with me. That was what mattered most.

My lips turned up slowly into a seductive smile. I leaned forward, "So I'm in charge then?"

A slow and languid grin emerged on his mouth. "If my bonita wishes to be in charge, then she is in charge." He slowly removed his hands from my hips, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. " What is it that she wishes for me to do?" He said the words slowly and with heat as he looked me over.

I took a step back from him, feeling more at ease. I felt confident and beautiful as he watched me. I let my eyes slowly trek over his body, from head to toe and back again. I was going to enjoy myself, "Take off your shirt." He reached for the hem of his shirt and I held up a hand, "Slowly." I drug the word out and he smirked slightly as he did as he was told. I felt a sudden feeling of power and confidence surge through me.

I could do this, Miles was right, it was natural for us but as I looked over his bare torso and my core clenched in need, I knew this was going to be unnaturally fun.