Sinners and Saints

Sinners and Saints Chapter 33 - Who's Gonna' Save Your Soul?

“Lydia the entire village celebrated.  Except for me, of course – and Nabal.  I tried hard to be happy for them, but my heart was tortured.  I thought for sure that this jealousy would be my downfall, so I prayed harder and more, begging God for strength to put it behind me. 

“And he answered my prayer – or I thought he did,” Drake sighs, “Our Rabbi asked me to go to another village a few days away to help bury the dead from a recent illness that swept through it.” 

“Weren’t you afraid you’d get it too?” I ask him. 

“Part of me wished I would,” he tells me, “There were days that I wished He would strike me dead to end my suffering.  But I packed up and went to the village to help bury the dead and give what succor I could to the survivors.  I had never been to their village before – it was off the trade-route and pretty isolated.  There weren’t nearly as many people around back then, you know. 

“I came to the Rabbi’s house first and he greeted me warmly, despite the difficult circumstances he was under.  He himself lost his wife and all of his children except for a son around my age.  And we worked and prayed and buried the dead they way we were taught. He preached to accept God’s divine wisdom without question.  He was so charismatic – so fatherly – that I hung on his every word.  He didn’t judge me for my prophecy.  He just accepted me and encouraged me. 

“So, one night when we were almost done, I asked him to help me cleanse the jealousy from my heart.  I told him everything – how I loved Lydia but she married Nabal.  How he had no love of her.  How I was cursed but he was blessed by God and how I didn’t understand that when he was impure and yet I had devoted my life to keeping God’s ways.  

“And he told me to do what God commanded and that he and his son would accompany me back to my village to personally thank the Rabbi for lending him such a devout assistant.  And they did – a couple of days later.  We packed up and walked the whole way back – talking the Torah and I listened to everything he said.  He didn’t walk fast – he was getting up there in years – but the walk back was easy and full of camaraderie. 

“When we got back, finally, my family gave them rooms and they settled in.  The next day, they went to meet with our Rabbi and I continued my studies.  Oh – how they praised me.  It was the first words of praise that I had ever heard and I drank it up like honeyed-wine.  I listened to every word of it and it gave me hope that I could overcome God’s curse on me and be a good man in His eyes. 

“When we got back to the inn that evening, the Rabbi and his son retired for the night.  I was about to retire also when I saw Lydia crying behind the inn.  I asked her what was wrong and she confessed that Nabal had yet to consummate their marriage.  That she tried to be a good wife to him, but he made up excuse after excuse.  She was heart-broken, angel, and I couldn’t do anything about it without giving away his secret,” he stops and gives a dry cough.  

“I’ll get you some water,” I tell him and he nods appreciatively.  I can see the emotions in his eyes plainly – the regret, the sadness, the pain of it all – and I really don’t want to put him through it again.  I already know this tale doesn’t end well – he took the deal, after all – but I don’t know which one of us is going to end up in more tears by the end of this. 

I hope it’s me. 

I get him a glass of ice-water and hand it to him.  It’s not even sweating – it must be fifty degrees outside.  He sips and gives me his half-smile and I have to bite my cheek to beg him to stop.  To just kiss him senseless and let what is happening between us now keep him from what happened then. 

“I gave her what comfort I could – reminding her of Sarah.  Of Job.  But the words sounded hollow – even to me.  She finally dried her tears and nodded at me and went back inside.  I prayed harder that night than ever before – for my brother to renounce his ways, for Lydia to have patience, for my curse to finally be lifted.