Talkin' in my sleep at night
Makin' myself crazy
(Out of my mind, out of my mind)
Wrote it down and read it out
Hopin' it would save me
(Too many times, too many times)
My love, he makes me feel like nobody else
Nobody else
But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself
I tell myself
One, don't pick up the phone
You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two, don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three, don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't getting over him
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
I keep pushin' forwards, but he keeps pullin' me backwards
(Nowhere to turn) no way
(Nowhere to turn) no
Now I'm standing back from it, I finally see the pattern
(I never learn, I never learn)
But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself
I tell myself
I do, I do, I do
One, don't pick up the phone
You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two, don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three, don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't getting over him
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
Practice makes perfect
I'm still tryna' learn it by heart
(I got new rules, I count 'em)
Eat, sleep, and breathe it
Rehearse and repeat it, 'cause I
(I got new, I got new, I...)
One, don't pick up the phone
You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two, don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three, don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't getting over him
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
(Oh, whoa-oh)
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
(Baby, you know I count 'em)
I gotta tell them to myself
Don't let him in, don't let him in
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't be his friend, don't be his friend
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't let him in, don't let him in
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't be his friend, don't be his friend
Don't, don't, don't, don't
You gettin' over him
I woke up on my office couch with a naked Lana pressed to my naked body under a blanket and as soon as my eyes opened, last nights events flooded my memories. I immediately closed my eyes tight and held back my sigh. We came in and immediately started drinking. After we were both thoroughly drunk, Lana said she wanted to make love to me. Because she loved me, not Bex. And me, being the drunk emotional I am, said yes because I love her. And yes. I do love her. More than anything. But she has a girlfriend. Who she's now cheated on. I wish I was like every other person in that when I wake up with a hangover, I don't remember the previous night.
When Lana finally left, she kissed me softly. I say finally like I wanted her to leave. She didn't want to leave either. She spent most of the day here, cuddling me in my bed. Naked. She again told me that she loved me, not Bex. I of course told her I loved her too. Because of course I fucking do. When she left, I watched her go from the door and I sighed. I wanted her to never leave. But I know that's not possible. I went back up to my room and got in bed, tired. Just exhausted, physically and mentally. I laid down and sighed as I realized my bed smelled like her. I couldn't will myself to get up and change my bed so I just wrapped the blankets all around me and pulled the pillow she slept with close to me. I fell asleep, breathing her scent in.
When i woke up, Lana was all i could think about. I sighed as i got up to change into sweats and a tank top. I put my hair up before going downstairs to make some lunch since it was almost one o'clock. I made some pasta and then went to sit in the living room. I put Netflix on before pressing play on a random show. I decided to check my phone while i ate and i choked on a bite of pasta as the first thing i saw was a press page tweeting a picture of me and Lana entering my house holding hands and laughing. I coughed as i read a bunch of tweets of people saying they've been waiting for us to get together. Then i started reading the tweets of people calling me a slut and a home wrecker and things like that for "stealing Lana from Bex." I felt my heart beating extremely hard in my chest as i saw a text from Bex. I closed my eyes before checking it. "i know people are just taking this out of proportion. i know you guys are just friends." i almost cried. I'm such a horrible person. I saw Lana tweeted and i bit my lip before opening it. "For everyone calling Jennifer names, you don't know what you're talking about. She's one of the best people i know and if you all were real fans, you wouldn't have turned on her like this." i started crying this time. I opened my texts to Lana and started a new one. "You didn't have to stick up for me. They're right. I am a slut and a home wrecker and all of those things. I'm so sorry Lana." I sent and then turned my phone off. I finished eating before going upstairs and getting back in bed. i cried myself back to sleep.
When i woke up, i was being held by the arms of the one person who most definitely should not be here. I tried to pull away and she just pulled me closer. "You are none of the things they said, my love. You're the love of my life and i'm sorry i had to hurt Bex but i couldn't be without you any longer when i'm so unbearably in love with you." She said and my heart started beating extremely fast. "Y-You ended it with her?" i asked with tears in my eyes. She nodded. "S-So can we be together now?" i asked and she smiled before pulling me into a soft kiss. When she pulled away, I smiled. "You're mine now. I couldn't be without you anymore." She said and i smiled.
