I stormed into my trailer and slammed the door behind me. i immediately let out an angered scream as i knocked a vase off my counter and let it shatter in the floor. I collapsed behind the shattered pieces and hugged myself as tears filled my eyes. I immediately cursed myself in my head as my chin met my chest and I cried uncontrollably.
*ten minutes earlier*
I was walking towards the docks to watch Lana shoot one of her scenes. I put my hands in my pockets as I walked and I smiled as I saw Lana. I saw Bex come up to her and I stopped as she grabbed her hips. Lana smiled and grabbed her shoulders and gave her a seductive look before saying something and then they kissed and I felt my whole world shatter. It got harder for me to breathe and it felt like I couldn't get oxygen to my lungs. I felt my hands start to shake and my vision started to black out around the edges. I quickly turned around, knowing I was having a panic attack, and I took off running to my trailer as I felt anger and jealousy and so many emotions all at once.
-
I rubbed angrily at my tears. Of course on the day I decide to tell Lana my feelings, she and Bex come out. How fucking perfect. There was a knock at my door and I quickly stood up and turned around to see the one person I didn't want to see. "Hey. Are you okay? I saw you at the docks.. did something happen?" Lana asked and I had to bite back my answer. No I'm not okay. Of course something happened. You're mine and she stole you. She knows how I feel. "I'm fine. Just some confusion." I lied and she frowned. She's always known when I was lying, kind of like Emma to Regina. She looked at the shards of the broken vase on the ground and looked back at me. "Jenny what happened?" She asked, coming in closer and using the nickname only she's allowed to use. I moved away and shook my head. "I saw you and Bex kissing. Are you guys a couple?" I asked, faking a tone of nonchalance. Her breathing hitched. "Yeah. We are. But not very long. It's just been a few days." She said and I nodded. "Good for you." I said, my voice sounding pained. "Jen... talk to me..." she said and turned me around to look at her. I looked in her eyes and tears fell from mine knowing she would never look at me the way she looked at her. "Hey.." she whispered and pulled me into a hug. I held onto her tight as I cried into the crook of her neck and she held me close as she rubbed my back. "Jenny you can talk to me about anything. Okay?" She said and played in my almost shoulder length hair. I nodded even though I knew I couldn't talk to her about this. She held me tight and gently swayed as she rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. I wanted her to leave and never leave again all at the same time. "Lay down. Let me clean up that vase. Then i'll cuddle you." She said and I nodded before she let go of me and went to lay on my bed. I watched as she swept up the pieces and then threw them away, then she came over to lay with me. She pulled me into her arms and then pulled the blankets over us and I started crying all over again. "Jen, what's wr-" "please leave." I cried out. "What? But Jen you're-" "leave! Just go!" I shouted, my voice cracking and she got up, quickly leaving and I started sobbing. "Jen? What happened? I saw Lana leaving in tears..." Ginny said as she came in and she came over to pull me into her arms. "Her and Rebecca are dating." I sobbed. "Oh honey." She said sadly and pulled me to her chest as I cried. She ran her fingers through my hair and rubbed my back. "I was going to tell her today." I sniffled. "I'm so sorry." She mumbled. "Listen. I know it hurts baby. But it's going to be okay. I promise." She said and I sniffled as I nodded. "I missed my chance." I mumbled brokenly. "No. You just missed this chance. There will be more, im sure." She said and I shook my head. "They're perfect together. They'll probably get married." I mumbled bitterly. "Be positive baby." She said and i sighed. "it's going to be okay. I promise." She said and I nodded. "Thank you." I mumbled. She kissed my forehead and ran her fingers through my hair. I should've told her sooner. Because now who knows if I'll ever get to tell her. She's never going to kiss me like that. She's never going to be with me. She's never going to want me. Because Bex had the courage to go for her.
