Coffee Time Slurps

#A Letter

Until.....

I saw you.

My eyes ceased blinking, I stopped listening to the chores voice of deva and my thumb precisely paralysed. All I registered was those big beautiful eyes you possess, those spruced up chocolate brown hair, those full natural peach lips and that pretty smile which was tugging at the end of your lips. You might find it humorous but a girl who didn't know the meaning of blush was red as ripe tomato and I could feel my cheeks heated. My heart, it was racing as if it was planning to rip my ribcage and fly to you. I was afraid if deva could hear my heartbeats because I was listening it. I didn't know what it was, why it was but I knew one thing it was dangerous for me.

Shutting down my cellphone, I rubbed my face and gestured a wary deva to continue it tomorrow. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was to see you. I wanted to capture you. I wanted to watch you. I wanted to touch you.

As she staggered away with her stuff, I plopped on the bed and with a move of stalker, hunted you down. I was pretty mad when I saw that you had your DP on public audience, I wanted to shout at you to give anyone the chance to ogle upon you; including me. But it also made me chest swell in pride that you were not among those schmuck - wanna be playboy- who does selfie - a trend that has ruined everything; isn't it bad enough that girls are obsessed with selfie? Boys taking selfies had always given me creeps. I was happy that you had your posts and info privacy protected.

I am not ashamed of confessing that yes, I saved your pics and hid them in a private app. Stalking was something I had never done and I still don't do, unless it is about you. I was angry on myself for some reason, probably, for finding a stranger worth drooling and smiling like an idiot all throughout the day. You haunted me. Everywhere. Every time. At dinner table, while watching movies, while listening songs, in my dreams, at everyplace I went. Your big nut brown eyes have always haunted me. I was fighting within me. I wanted to forget you. You were making me demure. It was difficult for me to close my eyes because all I see was your eyes and then, when I open my eyes, you were nowhere. It was becoming frustrating.

That's it! From now on, I won't look at him. This was the pledge I made every morning and broke every night. It had become a habit for me to watch your face before sleeping. What exactly was I doing? Why was I doing it? I just knew your name. That's it. You could've been a criminal, terrorist or a con artist.

Why not a humble, calm and respected man as I have assumed? My subconscious always shut me up by saying this. My soul, my heart; they had refused to hear me. My mind who used to be the master of my emotions was losing day by day. I knew I was wrong, I knew what I was doing would bring ultimate pain but I could do nothing. The moment I saw your pic, I used to forget everything. Nothing mattered for me. Nothing at all.

Six months of my agony passed and I made peace with the fact that you're just my crush, alike the thousands I had. But I knew it was not true. I was over everything at a point of time but you were as fresh as a morning breeze for me even after six month, which was the longest duration of any crush I had upon. Because you were not a CRUSH.

I started siding myself from everyone and started spending my time alone with your thoughts, I made and erased thousands of assumptions every day about you. How you would be? How would be your voice? Someone in mind keep reminding me that maybe you love someone else, maybe you're a bad boy, maybe I am delusional. But I had answer for everything. I was verbatim, practically.

So what if he is in love with anyone, I don't love him. So what I don't see him,I don't plan to see him Anyways. So what if he is not aware of me, I don't plan to get acquaint with him. So what if he is not aware of my crush, I will be over him in anytime soon.