Playing The Straight Game [boyxboy]

26

They seemed to get what he was saying as Jenny squeezed his arm in understanding.

"So, are you gay? Or bisexual? Or something else?" Grace asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I don't really know, to be honest." Farren admitted, shrugging in reply. "I guess bi, but I'm not really into the whole labelling thing. I like who I like, that's all that matters really."

"Good for you, doing what you want." Grace said proudly, and Jenny nodded in agreement.

"And what about your friends?" Jenny asked. "Do they know?"

"Jesse does. And Kaden's friend Luke. That's it really," Farren answered.

"So you're not a public couple." Grace stated, and Farren nodded in confirmation.

"Will you ever be?"

Farren stayed silent for a moment, looking down at his hands. "I think so, eventually." He said quietly, not too sure of the answer himself.

"Afraid of negative reactions?" Jenny guessed accurately.

"I guess you could say that," Farren answered.

"And what about Kaden?" Grace asked, cocking her head to the side curiously.

"What about him?" Farren asked.

"Is he out of the closet?" She clarified.

"Yup. Openly gay as of last week." Farren confirmed, nodding his head as he spoke.

"And how's that working out for him?" Jenny asked.

"Good. Really good, actually." Farren said, smiling at the memory of Kaden excitedly telling him that everyone was really cool with it.

"And your still worried about what people will say about you, even with all the love Kaden's getting after coming out of the closet." Grace asked, but it came out as more of a statement than a question.

Farren thought about that for a minute. She did have a point. "I get what your saying, but it's different for Kaden. Even though people are treating him good, it's still different for him. Everyone's talking about how shocking it is that 'football captain Kaden Rivers' is gay. He doesn't care about the attention, but I don't want it."

"I get it Farren, you don't want people to know you as your sexual orientation," Jenny said understandingly.

"Exactly," Farren said. "I don't want me being bisexual or whatever the first thing people think of when they hear my name. I just want to be Farren Milton, not 'Farren Milton the gay quarterback'."

"I understand how you feel honey," Grace said sympathetically. "But if you think that what you and Kaden have is long term, you're going to have to come out eventually."

"I know, and I really like him. I'm serious about Kaden, I've never felt like this about anyone else." Farren said, admitting for the first time to himself that his feelings for Kaden ran deep.

"Well, you don't have to publicly come out as bi. When you're ready, just come out as Kaden Rivers' boyfriend. If straight people don't have to come out, why should you?" Jenny said, and Farren saw the logic in what she was saying.

"But don't put it off for too long, for Kaden's sake. Luckily, you're in an environment that it's safe for you to come out. But I guarantee you that it's hard for him being your 'secret,' and eventually sneaking around might become too much for him. You need to think of yourself first, but you also need to think of Kaden." Grace added, and Farren knew she had a point.

Farren nodded, agreeing with what she said. Kaden wasn't going to stay in the shadows forever, and sooner or later he would get sick of having to hide their relationship.

"You should be proud, dear. Think of all the scared closeted kids in your school, think of what that would do for them. Seeing two popular boys like yourselves in love, without hatred or judgement," Grace said with a smile.

Farren nodded once again, before fully registering what Grace had said. Love? Did she think he was in love with Kaden?

"Love?" He managed to sputter out, earning him a grin from both Grace and Jenny.

"How haven't you realised it already? Farren, I've never seen you in love with anyone before, but I'll be damned if Kaden isn't the first."

Farren was too shocked to reply, head turning between the two of them as he attempted to find the words to deny it.

But he couldn't.

He couldn't deny it, because it was true. Maybe he was only realising now, or maybe he had known deep down but was scared to let his mind even think it.

He was in love with Kaden, and the realisation made him both want to scream with happiness and vomit with nervousness. Because he was scared. Scared of being hurt, scared of his feelings not being reciprocated.

Scared of having his heart broken. Because it was out of his hands now. He had given Kaden Rivers his heart, and there was nothing he could do to get it back.

XXXXX

OH MY GOD, 3k reads??!! What ?!!!!? Thank you all so fcking much omg!!

Another chapter done, nearing the end guys! No Kaden in this chapter, but next chapter is all him!

Vote and comment if you enjoyed pleaseee :)

Qotc: Have you seen the trailer for the upcoming LGBT movie 'Call Me By Your Name' ?

Aotc: Saw a clip months ago, back when there wasn't even a proper trailer. Preceded to become obsessed, reading the book and watching the official trailer a couple of times every day since it came out in August haha!! (I even have it downloaded so I can watch it when I don't have internet) It's out this week and I am COUNTING down the minutes oh my god!!!

Love you all, and thanks again for 3k!!

Xx

-A