Calm Me Down (girlxgirl)

sixteen: the forest

"It's true" I whispered shutting my eyes wishing for this moment to last. Our heart beat thumped in unison both loud that any minute it felt like our hearts would escape out.

"But you feel it to" She replied, I hesitantly nodded my head and tried to pull away but I couldn't bring myself too.

"Tell me what do you feel?" She asked and I could hear her genuine tone. I opened my eyes the same time she did and once again our eyes met, I lifted my head but stayed close to her.

"That I'm-" I stopped myself as my voice cracked, I caressed her jawline with my right hand as the other unconsciously held hers.

"Please" Her voice was too delicate that I lost it again, she tilted her head slightly.

"It's just-" I sighed frustrated and almost pulled away but she gripped on my hand tighter making me realise that my hand was holding hers.

I didn't know if it was out of frustration of failing to word out my thoughts or the way her honey brown eyes shined too brightly staring into mine and maybe, just maybe it was when my head stopped working and my heart took control that I pulled her into me and connected my lips to hers. I could feel her stiffen in my touch along with her lips, I pushed my lips gently and after a while, she started to reciprocate.

I always though it was impossible, or crazy that I'll ever feel that fireworks again or that feeling in my stomach that I didn't know I craved until this moment.

It was only for a moment that we kissed because she started to struggle out of my grip and push me slightly away. I was taken back and looked at her confused expression mixed with sadness at the thought that I had upset her and messed up. Upon realising her actions, she looked at me and took a step forwards, holding both my cheeks and softly caressed them as out foreheads rest on each other.

"Sorry it's just that I-" I shushed her when I lifted my head and kissed her forehead understandingly.

"Don't apologise" I whispered looking down at her again watching as her eyes were shut as if she had a nightmare in her head.

"Hey" I held her chin and tilted her head up, "I'll protect you, even if it means I lose everything I have" I whisper and knew that I neant every word I spoke.

When reality suddenly dawned on me, I felt frightened. What those words meant. What I was willing to give up for her. What she meant to me.  I wasn't going to let something that I had wanted to do for so long, be ruined by my stupid, careless, selfish thoughts.

"I'm sorry" I uttered looking down at her with a sorrowful look, "It's just that I don't know what I'll do if I lose you too" I finally said heavily sighing. She scrunched her forehead together and looked at me confused.

"Why do you think that?" She asked again with her small voice, I sighed and opened my eyes.

"Because I tend to lose everyone I care about" I whispered swallowing the lump in my throat, "But damn it, no matter how much I stop myself" I paused inching closer again this time I can see her relax in my touch and close her eyes, "You give me millions of reasons to care for you" I closed my eyes wanting to feel everything when my lips connected to her plump ones. I held her close to me as I inhaled sharply breathing in her sweet honey scent. She held both of my arms as she tried to keep stable.

I pulled back after a while, this time smiling at her. She slightly bit her lip as she looked at me and touched them. I released a soft chuckle continuing my caress on her cheeks. Our faces only inches apart still, I continued to stare at her features adoringly.

"You are so beautiful" I expressed watching as she looked down with reddened cheeks but I tilted her head towards me again so that I could stare longer. She only smiled as a response and leaned in again yet I pulled back as I chuckled and kissed her cheeks.