Diary of a Disguised Loner

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Company!

We all always crave for someone's company. Someone to always be present when need arises. Someone who will listen to us and comfort us and help us with our choking problems.
We need company when we are alone and life seems to be playing tough jokes.
We need company when we are sad and we want someone to magically uplift our mood.
We need company when we are scared of the problems that hatch around us.
We need company when we have given up all hope we had and need someone else's hope to survive.
We need company to help us regain back faith in whatever good that is left of a situation.
We need company simply when we are bored and want something new and happening to discuss about.

In simple words, We need COMPANY!

In this world, where about 7 billion people are looking for someone or the other's company, finding company should be a cakewalk. Because everyone seeks someone or the other.
You are seeking someone and someone is seeking you.
Find the right person and you have a company for lifetime. No more worries about being alone and scared. No more anxiety because you have someone to share your feelings with.

But the most important question....
How to find that person?
How to seek your seeker?

This task, however easy it may seem, is no cakewalk. It's harder than choosing your path of life.

You take risks. Take chances.

Find the right one, even the wrong path chosen can be rectified.
Find the wrong one, even the right path feels hell wrong.

Not necessary for you to find that person in one go. But to find that person is necessary.

In the search, you will get hurt, bruised, heartbroken, weak, demoralised and every other force on earth will put together to drag you down. But you have to arise. In order to find that one person who is worth all your pain. All the pain will harbour it's energy to make you stronger than ever. Only then will you be complete in a true sense.

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I have the nicest of companies. I'm so easy to get along with. People love to talk to me because I'm a great listener. People crave to befriend me. People want me in their lives almost all the time. People feel so great in my company that time falls short.

Or so I've been told....

I don't know if that's true at all. Apparently, I'm a good listener. But that's all. People don't want my company for that. There are so many great listeners out there swarming like bees. Then why settle for me? Because I want them to settle for me. And why do I want them to settle for me?  Because I don't want to be alone. I may have no one to listen to my  miseries. But having people around me who feel comfortable enough to pour their hearts out to me gives me a sense of security. Yes, I'm selfish. Yes, I'm insecure. Or better way to say, I'm selfish because I'm insecure. I listen to people only because I want constant company. Not because I'm a great listener. Trust me, my patience runs out quite often. But then I know what I'm risking with an outburst. And I can't afford to risk it. I can't afford to lose the company I have. Because if I do, I'll be all alone.

Like I am now....
Like I'll always be....