Faded- A HeiEd/Elricest Fanfic

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A/N- Angst writing is fun ಠωಠ
And painful
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Edward POV

It is all my fault
I don't want to hurt anyone
I would rather bear the pain myself

Alphonse sat next to me on the settee near the lit fireplace.He had stopped shivering, but he was still crying. I went to put my arm around him, but he jerked away, staring at me with cold, frightened eyes.

Why is it so lonely?
How can I escape this dreading hollowness?

"Alphonse..." I could barely bring myself to face him.
"Y-you said that you were leaving to join him. You would seriously leave me after all that we've gone through?" He asked softly, a hint of malice in his voice.

I'm sorry
Please make it stop

"The one I love is dead now, living in this world just reminds me of Alfons. It hurts Al, it really hurts" I said, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.

I've been told that theres another way out
Yet I cannot find the other exit

"It's selfish Edward. That's what it is. The both of us went through everything, then you disappeared for years here, and when I finally join you again you're thinking of dying!" He yelled, his voice faltering. I stared at him blankly.

I cannot see my own faults
I can only rely on others for that

"Then you go and blatantly lie about loving me! You could of just told me that you loved him Ed! Why didn't you just say so?!" He screamed, sobbing. My gaze fell to the ground.
"I didn't want to hurt you Al, that's why" I replied softly.
"Yeah, this wasn't hurting me at all" He replied sarcastically, gritting his teeth through tears.

Is it me against the world now?
Has everyone turned on me?

"Edward, it's not your fault that Alfons died, he decided that himself. You've been making things worse for yourself by blaming yourself" Alphonse said, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt.
"T-that's not true, all I do is hurt people, I lost him due to that...." I trailed off, biting my lip again.
"Ed, we all hurt people in our lives. You may love Alfons, but I will always love you no matter what" His gaze dropped to the ground "That probably only makes matters even worse, but we all have our flaws, right?"

I will have to constantly remind myself that I have someone who is being shot down everyday
And it's my doing, but not my fault

"Yeah" I replied. Alphonse grabbed my hand.
"Promise you won't leave me until it's time?" He asked. I shrugged.
"I said I would fix things before leaving, not wait forever" I said, standing up and walking away from the fireplace.

It may not be soon
But I have made a promise to you
I will love you forever, and I will see you again
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End