stellar | jjk

one;

i run past houses. cold december air pierces through my being, causing me to tighten my grip on my sweater, almost losing my balance. i don't mind the cold gust of air swooshing through my reddened cheeks, im too late and there's no time to go back home for a scarf. i have an exam to give.

i risk looking up at the sky to realise it looks magical. it's a sad grey, with hues of pink, as if to mask it's dullness, much like my personality. sad, with an almost nice attempt to hide it. i quicken my pace again.

the sight of my school gate causes me to breathe a sigh of relief, forming chilly smoke in the air. i clutch my stomach tightly, my poor stamina yet again failing me. i cough.

walking forward, i realise what I'm here for, and nauseou envelopes me, my stomach quivers, my arms hang jittery by my sides. im not prepared for the exam. at all. i wish i was.

i consider turning back as an alternative, but it didn't seem so, especially when i'd reached the door of my classroom, my invigilator's disappointed eyes staring through my soul.

i take a deep breath, wipe my clammy hands on my jeans, and walk in. whispers of my classmates resonate in the room.

anxiety. lots of it.

"six minutes late to the most important exam of this year, what is your excuse, young lady?" he chides.

"im sorry, promise it won't happen again."

"there won't be an again," he says, "you can leave." pointing at the door, causing my eyes to widen. the whispers get louder.

"im really sorry-"

"let me repeat myself, get out." he interrupts sternly.

"just let me sit this once, please." i say through gritted teeth, half expressing my exasperation.

"have i not made it clear, aisha? you are ought to be out that doo-" his eyes of anger turn to nonchalance in a sudden, "your seat's right there." he deadpans, pointing towards it. the whispers stop.

what just happened?

i brush it off. not like it was the first time something like that had happened.

adults are weird.

sparing no time, i settle down in my seat, scavenge a pen from my pocket, and flip the paper with much needed motivation.

shit.

scouring through the questions, i realise i have absolutely no chance at passing. i should've listened to the teacher and left, atleast i'd have an excuse for repeating this year.

looking around, i see everyone writing. their faces attentive, their noses in their sheets, pens gliding across. the sight fills me with regret. i should've studied.

the sound of pages being turned awakens the realisation that i lacked time. i panic and begin writing some sad excuses of answers. anything that my mind could come up with.

as i begin drawing a diagram, i hear weird muttering. a mere annoyance at the least, so i shrug it off.
except it gradually begins getting louder. i look over at the guy beside me with the mohawk blue hair. it must be him.
my death glare doesn't budge him as he mouths a "what" to me in boredom. rolling my eyes, i shift my focus back to where it's needed.

in the midst of writing a half-assed definition, the annoying murmuring resonates again. my eyes wander over to the mohawk guy, only to find him asleep.

wait what?

i profusely shake my head in response, earning a few stares. it feels so close-by, like it's in my head, like it's my own, except that's literally impossible.
it must be the absolute lack of sleep. Insomnia sucked.

just when i prepare to forget about it for the second time, "pssst!" a seemingly male voice loudly exclaims. startling me out of my wits, it causes a tiny squeal to escape my lips. i earn stares, again.
"didn't ya'll hear that?" i ask, confound.
the girl seated a feet away rolls her eyes at me, i might have also heard a "crazy" escape her mouth. i don't blame her.

was i losing my mind?

"i don't think you are. "

the same voice echoes, real loud this time.

i look to my left and right. front and back. where was this coming from?

my breath hitches. i pause for a whole minute, half expecting no response. i wait.

"i said, i dont think you're losing your mind. are you really going to ignore me?"

my eyes widen, the same voice being enough to confirm my bizarre suspicion.

the voice had been inside my head, all along. and i didn't like it one bit.