A Thousand Purple Stars (JinJi)

Park Jinyoung

On Campus Drive, Jinyoung had lived with three other boys: Mark, his roommate, a sophomore, Yugyeom and a Thai exchange student that they called Bambam. Jackson lived with his relatives in an apartment downtown, and he turned out to be the only one in their group of friends who didn't know that Mark and Nawon were going behind Jinyoung's back.

When Jinyoung found out that they all knew, he dropped his friends except Jackson. He ended his relationship with Nawon, and moved out of that Campus Drive apartment. For a few weeks, he stayed with Jackson while he looked for another place to stay. Hillside Residences popped up a few weeks later.

Jinyoung looked down at the items again.

He would have liked to get rid of everything he owned that reminded him of Nawon, but that simply wasn't sensible. He could easily throw out amigurumi figures she crocheted for him on his birthday, but it was harder to throw out a pair of black Oxfords she bought for him since they were the only pair of formal shoes he owned, and he'd need them for graduation. They dated for just seven and a half months, but she had carved out such a large space for herself in his life. Now that she was gone, he felt light, like he could disappear with the next gust of wind.

Like Jackson, everyone else who knew about his and Nawon's breakup treated him like a broken figure or a lost child, trying to console him with small talk and pints of beer. But Jinyoung was long over mourning the lost relationship, he thought. He was no longer depressed; he was annoyed.

He moved the items aside and sat down on the bed. No more girlfriend. New apartment. Graduation in four months. Still no word from med schools. What now?

As he was sitting and contemplating his next move and what an irritating clusterfuck his life had become, he looked down into the box and found a brown manila envelope at the bottom of it. Jinyoung sighed as he reached for it. He knew what was inside, he'd already opened it. On the train on the way back from his hometown. He opened it up again and two smaller envelope fell into his lap. One had his name on it. He slid his thumb under the flap and took out the letter.

"Dear Jinyoung," the letter began.

"By the time you read this, I will most likely have passed on already. I hope you won't be too upset. The thought of upsetting so many people is really the only thing that's making this so hard. I've had a good run these 60 plus years, and I've met so many people that have made my life vibrant and worthwhile. You are one of them.

"I have been teaching 13 year olds for thirty years, longer than I haven't been teaching. But in all those years of teaching, I still believe you were one of the most exceptional. You were always hard working and responsible and honest. Before I got sick, I had always wanted to reach out to you and suggest catching up over lunch or something. But I see now that that won't be possible. I'm disappointed that I won't be able to see the kind of man you've become, though I have faith that you've grown up to meet and exceed all my expectations.

"In these darks days, it gives me comfort knowing that young men like you are still in this world and that I played a part in your growing up. I remember an essay you wrote once, in my class. You said that when you grow up, you wanted to be a superhero. I laughed reading that bit, but you went on to explain that you meant a superhero like your father, the town's fire chief who had just saved a young girl in a burning department store.

"I hope you haven't given up on this dream. Too many of the "superheroes" in our society are vain, arrogant men who are looking more for an ego boost than a real chance to help people. The world needs more heroes like you.

"Anyway, I ought to say goodbye. I'm sorry I was never able to arrange that lunch meeting with you. I wanted to arrange a meeting with Kim Jisoo, as well. As you know, she was also a brilliant student, one of the brightest. Please do me, your beloved ailing teacher, a favor: when you get this letter, call Kim Jisoo and arrange a lunch meeting with her. The two of you can reunite and reminisce about the good days of middle school together, and I will be there with you in spirit.

"All the best,

"Mr. Hong"

Jinyoung sighed as he put the letter down and rubbed his temples. A superhero. Yes, that was what he said he wanted to be when he grew up. That was ten years ago, he was twelve. He no longer wanted to be a superhero. Right now, he didn't feel very heroic at all.

Jinyoung looked back at the letter. Specifically at the last part of it. He had gone back to his hometown a month ago to attend Mr. Hong's funeral, but the trip back had also forced him on a stroll down memory lane. And most of the memories on that lane that involved Kim Jisoo weren't exactly the most pleasant. Yes, she was a brilliant student, but she was also petty and rude and arrogant and self-important and she hated his guts as much as he hated hers. Under no other circumstances would he even think about reaching out to her again. Get lunch with her? He would sooner stick needles into his eyeballs.

But this was Mr. Hong. The teacher that inspired him most as a kid. And this was Mr. Hong's last request, his dying wish. If not downright rude or blasphemous, surely it was bad luck to deny a dying man his last wish, right?

Jinyoung sighed again. He'd been sighing a lot lately. The second envelope had her name on it, which he assumed was another letter of similar nature to his. He could just mail it to her. But then the guilt of not following through on the favor Mr. Hong asked of him would weigh on his conscience. He also could just do nothing, but a person of strong moral character such as he couldn't stand the thought of not keeping a promise. He dug his phone out of his pocket and then opened up his contacts list. Her number was there in his phone. All it would take was one call.

He hesitated.