Afraid To Fall In Love

Twists and Turns

I was also wronged, but you don't see me playing the victim card, I should also be getting the same attention but then that was the least of my problems right now, no one has tried to explain anything to me, I was beginning to lose patience.

Minal

The only place I felt far away from people was in my closet, I would cry for hours and sometimes even sleep off, all I did these past few days was cry and dial Nazeer's number over and over again,  no one was picking and at some point it was no longer reachable.

I was worried sick, what if something had happened to him, or what he must be going through, I felt lost and angry, I didn't even know whom to call and the thought of being someone else's wife other than Nazeer made me sick to my stomach especially the fact that that person was Mahmud made me go crazy . I haven't even seen him since I got back from the hospital.

Amrah came into the closet when she couldn't find me, my river of tears had ran dry ,I was staring at the wall so lost in thoughts with my cell phone laying next to me.

She sat down on the floor next to me, placing my head on her lap, as she stroke my hair. There was a deafening silence for almost fifteen minutes.

"are you okay? " she asked,

That was a wrong question to even ask me at this point, I am not okay, how can I be okay, not after what had happened, will I ever be okay?.

"yeah" I managed to answer, my voice was barely audible because of the waterworks, at some point everything was blurry I just wanted to sleep.

"I know you are a strong girl, you have endured more than you should, I know this is a lot to take in right now but it will be alright, I promise " she paused for a while.

"sometimes babie we don't always get what we want, maybe Nazeer wasn't the best for you, just trust in your creator, He alone knows best, everything will fall in place" Amrah kept talking for a while, though It was annoying at some point but I needed it.

She fixed a hot bath for me and helped me to the toilet. I soaked my self in the tub for almost an hour,  I performed my ablution and prayed Isha.

I wore a navy blue maxi dress and came down for dinner. It's been a while since I did that, and everyone was pleased to see me. Ammi served me some mashed potatoes with shredded beef casserole. I felt guilty to see that Mamie and Anty Jamila and a few other family members were still there to make sure I was alright.

Abbah called for a meeting immediately after dinner. I helped Amani and Zarah clear the dishes and then we headed to Papi's living room where everyone was already seated including Mahmud.

We chorused our salam as we entered the parlor, I sat down next to Mamie leaning against her legs.

Abbah cleared his throat and call Mahmud and I forward,

" I know that this decision of ours may have affected you in one way or the other, but we took the decision after deep consideration" he paused a bit then continued

" Mahmud, Minal is your sister and now your wife, I wasn't going to let my good friend's image be tarnished, I know you would understand and I know you would do the same if you were in my shoes. I am proud of the man I raised you to be and I know you will not go against this decision of mine, I want you to accept her as your wife and treat her as one, she will always be a daughter to me and I made this decision knowing that she will be in safe hands"

All this while Papi couldn't say anything as fresh tears washed my face.

"hajiya Fatima do you have anything to say?" Abbah asked Ammi

"you have already said what is to be said,  May Allah bless their union" she spoke softly,

"what about you shattu?"  He turned his attention towards Mamie.

"well Minal has gone through a lot these past few days, and this relationship is new to her even though Mahmud is not a stranger to her, but the whole idea of being married to him is. I don't want to rush her,  I would want her to stay with us until they figure things out" she requested,

There was a brief silence before Abbah answered,

"that is not a problem"

I was still crying, this time even more intense

"Hmnnn what is this, what are the tears for,  you should count yourself lucky that he even agreed to marry you after that good for nothing dumped you at your own wedding, does he even have an idea of what was spent on the wedding " Aunty Jamila sneered.

"Jamie " papi shout.

She hissed and stormed out of the room enraged.

A week had passed and we were getting ready to go to kaduna, I watched our help pack almost every belonging of mine, I was really leaving the house.

I sat on the edge of the bed playing with the ring on my finger, lost in thoughts when Na'em barged into the room.

"Minali,  Papi is looking for you in his study" he slammed the door right after delivering the message .  I wonder what type of person he is, always in a hurry to go nowhere.

I took a veil and headed out of the room. I found him alone in his study, I said a soft salam, but he seemed lost in thoughts. I moved closer to him placing my hands on his shoulder.

"oh dear have a seat" he pointed out to a chair next to his.

"I am so sorry my dear, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have rushed you into anything, maybe you and Nazeer weren't ready, and I am so sorry" he spoke holding my hand

" Papi you are not to blame, I will be alright in Shaa Allah"

" Mahmud will take better care of you, in time you would also learn to love him, a lot of times, the things we choose for our selves or that which we want so badly isn't the best for us. You will always be in my prayers,but you have to promise to call me everyday. " he smiled

At this point I was crying non stop, I moved closer and gave him a bone crushing embraced, we stayed like that for a while until Ammi came in to announce that we were leaving.

Mamie, Nasreen, Amani and Zarah all got into Abbah's Sienna and left before I could even complain. I wonder whose idea it was to put Mahmud and I in the same car alone for two hours,  I had no option I had to get in, and in no time we were on the highway.