A Stupid Love Letter

Chapter 3 - Tongue Biting

Diaries. The one place that you like to believe you can lay out your heart...hopes..and dreams. Well I have news for you my mom's read every single page of my diary and I bet yours has too.  I was way past feeling disconcerted when she saw my drawing of Nolan and thought he was the KFC man. It was more like one of those I wanna toss you in a volcano moments and after that I wanna hang you upside down from Big Ben by your toes.

Even so, here I was. A gorgeous Adonis in front of me, helping me search for my grandmother's air loom. "Have you found it yet?" I asked him as he searched underneath the carpet.

"No, not yet." He paused. "What---exactly is this family air-loom?"

"Well.." I trailed off. "That's a great question.." CRAP! What kind of fan girl mastermind didn't think her plan all the way through? "'Umm. It's a purple glass elephant, the eyes tell time and the body is encrusted with jewels." I mumbled, quickly. That was creative...right?

"That's an odd thing to tote around." Nolan inquired as he stood up and brushed himself off. "I'm tired. Would you like a snack?"

I bit my lip. I really didn't want him to witness my ravenous hunger. I'd rather streak through the school blind folded. "Maybe something small."  I mumbled.

He shrugged and I followed him into the kitchen. "How are the food supplies, Alfred?"

His butler peeked in the pantry. "They're running rather low, master Nolan. Would you like me to take a trip to the grocer?"

Nolan shook his blonde head. "That won't be necessary, Abby and I will go."

My face redenned. "We will?" I stuttered. "It's okay I'm not that hungry."

"But I am." He pouted as he linked arms with me. "Come on, I'll even let you drive."

"But I don't have my license!" 

Dear god he's touching my arm! I thought to myself as he opened my car door. "That's alright, I'll supervise." He smiled.

"I don't even know how to work a car!" I mumbled to myself as I tried to figure out how to work the contraption.

"Just put your foot on the gas pedal, which is the one on the far right, and steer. I'll change the gears." He instructed me.

I slammed my foot on the gas and we shot forward knocking over a pink flamingo and three garden gnomes. "I hope those weren't too expensive." I shouted over the roar of the engine.

"The flamingo was $250 and each garden gnome was personally crafted in Paris for a thousand bucks." He laughed when he saw my expression. "I'm kidding we bought it at Wal Mart. Jeez, who cares that much about garden gnomes. 'Sides I didn't like them that much anyways."

I stuck out my tongue. "That was mean Nolan."

He grinned. "I don't have a mean bone in my body."

I'd definitely believe that. 

"Slow down!" He chuckled. "You'll miss the turn."

Tried as I did, I ended up driving over the curb, onto the sidewalk, and into a parking spot. 

"That was nice." He grinned as he hooked arms with me. "Pick out what ever you want and just dump it in the cart." 

Nolan nudged me forward. "Go on. I know you must have something you like. Unless you're a robot or something."

My face flushed and I began walking the isles and dumping things in the cart. He picked up a box. "You like pot stickers?" He laughed.

I hid behind my frizzy hair, my face heating up immensely. "It looked cool." I mumbled.

He linked arms with me again. "Come on let's check out. Afterwards I have to stop by someone's house to check in on them..They're having a small.... get together."

                                                                                ~

I was shoved into the lap of some creepy guy with a toga. "Hello little girl." He burped, his stomach rumbling. Please don't eat me. I scampered off his lap. "Real small get together." I mumbled as I searched frantically through the throngs of people. "Nolan?" I shouted.

"Hey." Someone shouted as they grabbed my arm. "Wanna join us."

"I don't smoke, drink, or kiss strangers. So, no thank you to whatever is you're asking. I am already in a strong meaningful relationship with this guy that I love very much."

"Strong meaningful relationship?" He laughed. 

"Okay, he doesn't know I exist yet." I admitted. "Do you know where Nolan is?"

"Nolan? Yeah, he's in the kitchen."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I tried to get through the rooms of dancing people. Everyone's so close..They're practically raping each other...I feel like they're sucking away all my oxygen. Ugh. I reached the refrigerator and held onto the handle. I've finally reached safety! I looked around. Crap, I lost him again.

I knocked a cup over and the contents spilled on the floor and I fell right onto some poor stranger. I moaned.

"Can you please get off of me you wildebeest." 

I clenched my teeth and met the eyes of the 'poor' stranger I had landed on. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me correctly." He spat as he shoved me off of him. "God watch were you going Harry Potter girl."

I grabbed the nearest cup and threw it at him. "You stupid jerk!" 

He caught it. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I grabbed a handful of ice cubes and threw them at him. "Leave me alone!"

"I'm trying to leave. You're the one attacking me you bloody witch."

"Stop being so stupid!" I retorted as I beat him with a toaster. 

"Good god you're crazy. Put the toaster down, wonder woman."

"Apologize." I commanded as I reached for the coffee pot.

"No." He replied, sticking out his tongue. "Way."

Without a second thought I lunged forward and bit down on his tongue. Ew. Oh god, what if I get rabies? His arms flailed as I bit down. I was kind of hoping I'd bite his tongue clean off. Wouldn't that be fun? At the taste of blood I pulled away. He spat blood in my face. "Ow!" He shouted. "That hurt!"

"Don't be so mean. Next time you stick your tongue out at me I'm biting it off." I promised him as I stomped away with the toaster cord still in my hand and the toaster trailing behind me. "There you are." Nolan smiled.

"Why is there blood on your face?" He questioned as he opened the door for me.

"Blood?" I asked him. "Well, It's not mine." 

Author's Note: XD OHJEEZOHJEEZOHJEEZ. She sounds like a freak(x She's just kinda awkward..So hopefully y'all don't hate me. There is a point for her going to the party..And going to the grocery store was just a filler. D: So yeah...Sorry for not updating y'all probably thought I died.. X_X But I'm pretty sure I'm still alive..Idk, could be a vampire? o: Hopefully this chapter was funny..or...well....yeah...I'm feeling kinda dorky. *hides behind computer* comments if y'all are still alive? ...or vampires? XD Just as long as you can type then comment. No..That sounds demanding. T_T Ummm. Do as you like?

*sighs* I bet when y'all read the chapter name "tongue biting" you thought her and Nolan were kissing..No. That would just be awkward. XD

Well...I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to my favorite comment..if anyone comments XD..Since it only has 7 reads. XD