Heckin' Pervs

HECKIN' TALL • Aokiji x Reader

UGH. I don't know what to write anymore and it just sucks. So like. If you want stuff please request it because creativity is just off for me.

Anyway, second of three here, so yay.

••••••••••

"Come on, is that really necessary?!" you huffed, irritated, at the man condescendingly holding your glasses just an inch above where you couldn't reach.

"Yes," was his simple reply, infuriating you further.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?!" you yelped, looking at the clock for an excuse to get your beloved glasses back.

"It's Sunday," was the man's response. You huffed again, pouting to try to make him give in from your inherent cuteness. It wasn't working. Especially since he had his sleep mask still on.

"Kuzaaaaan!" you whined. He gave no response.

You were officially fed up.

You launched yourself up at him, but it was already too late. He had already sat up to move to another, more quiet place, and lifted the mask off his eyes just as your face slammed into the back of the couch.

He got ideas from this. Very evil ideas involving tormenting you until the very end of the day, simply for your height. Lazy as he was, Kuzan could come up with some great, yet terrible, things. He stood up, stretching his arms, making sure the glasses were as high as possible off the ground, then clipped them on the front of his shirt, much to your dismay.

As Kuzan made his way to the kitchen for some coffee, you were formulating plans as well, albeit bad ones. But plans were plans, and damn, did you need those glasses back.

You crept into the kitchen behind your boyfriend, eager for vengeance. This was a daily occurrence: he'd find something of yours and make you leap for it to get it back. It was a cruel game of height. Especially considering that you were nowhere near over 7 feet tall and he was.

Whilst Kuzan made some coffee, you hid under the counter, contemplating your first move. You decided to start swift, silent, violent, deadly...

As he passed and wasn't holding coffee, you jumped out in front of him. "IT'S HIGH TIME YOU GAVE THEMS OPTICAL LENSES BACK, DARLIN'!" you yelled, landing a strong roundhouse kick to his shin...

...and collapsing on the floor, doubled over in pain. Kuzan gave you a concerned look and helped you up, lightly kissing the top of your head.

Riiight. The ice leg. Damn the new Fleet Admiral.

And just then you realized you could have stolen it as he helped you up. Wonderful. You let out a sigh, thanking him, and leaned on a wall to contemplate your next move.

10:00 A.M., cloudy. Kuzan was sitting on the couch in the living room sipping his coffee. You attempted to cuddle close to him, but he saw through your ploy and refused, apologizing for sounding cold. Which was ridiculous. Because he WAS cold. But he wasn't, because he had a warm heart--OH WHATEVER.

10:30 A.M., still cloudy. He was just standing up, stretching again, ready to go back to bed despite having four cups of coffee. You launched yourself off the back of the couch, only to land on his back. You were given a confused look as you dropped to the floor, looking defeated.

11:00 A.M., rainy. You gave your boss a call to ensure you weren't needed that day. He noticed the tone of your voice and asked if Kuzan stole your glasses again; you simply replied yes before ending the call.

11:30 A.M., pouring. You made ramen for lunch. It smelled very good.

12:00, noon, thundering. You went into Kuzan's room to try to steal the glasses back as he slept, but they were on top of a bookshelf. You pounced like a cat off of all the furniture there was to try to get them, but to no avail. He woke up at the sixth crash, stood up, and took them again with ease, giving you a smirk.

12:30 P.M., thundering. You had given up and stayed on the couch the rest of the day, pouting.

At about 6, Kuzan came back out to fix dinner (since you had made lunch already) and sat on the couch with you. "Why the long face?" he asked, ruffling your hair.

"Because you're tall and it's not fair," you grumbled, fixing it again.

"It may not be fair, but it makes it easier to protect you," he responded softly.

"Yeah, and tease me," you sighed. But his words won over you, and you dropped the callous exterior and gave him the warmest hug you could. Kuzan hugged you back, giving a rather cold hug, but it was sincere.

After a moment of silence, he inquired, "Why do you need these anyway?"

"If I don't wear them I can't see your handsome mug." You looked up. "Right now all I'm seeing is a blob."

"No wonder you couldn't get them!"

"What?!"

"The ones on the bookshelf? Those were sunglasses I stole from Kizaru! Your real glasses were on the nightstand!"

You facepalmed. "So at noon, you left them open for me to attack?!"

"I did!"

"You're a big idiot... I love you..."

"Love you too." With that, he put the glasses back on you, smiled, and pulled you into a kiss.