Loving You Better

Chapter 54

Layla

Things simply felt hopeless for her.

They had been trying for almost a year now and still every month, her period would pop up right on time. She knew it was only a year and they were still young but she couldn't shake the feeling that they were running out of time.

Something inside of her told her that she needed to fall pregnant very, very soon but she couldn't possibly explain why. It just felt as if her days were numbered and the longer it took for her to fall pregnant the more anxious and upset she began to feel. And though she tried to hide it from Ameer, he could always tell when she was having an off day.

There were days when she wished she had waited for Ameer. She wished he was her first everything... her first touch, her first kiss, her first... everything. But she had been so blinded by her youthful perception of love that she had messed up both her and Yaaseen's life with her rash decisions.

Yaaseen wasn't bad and she wished he had found happiness with someone else. She wished he had found the same happiness that she had found because he deserved it. He deserved someone who loved him till the ends of the world instead of the love she gave him.

 She regretted it, always.

It near killed her when she found out that the day she asked him for a divorce was the same day his mother left his father. He didn't deserve that kind of heartache. He had a bloody dirty mouth and a bit of an explosive temper but he was far from being a bad person. She had never really spoken to Ameer about him but she suspected he knew she thought of Yaaseen from time to time. How could she not, though? He had been a major part of her life since she was 13 years old and to simply forget him sullied all the beauty of their relationship. There were good parts- she was old enough to realise that there were good parts along with the bad but she also knew that those good parts would never force her to fall in love with him.

This, with Ameer though, was true love.

It was far, far from perfect. There were times when he would have to walk out of the room because he was so irritated with her or times when she had decided to fall asleep in front of the tv so she wouldn't have to lie next to him because she couldn't bear to be anywhere near him. But even if they were angry or irritated or frustrated, she was never at peace until he stepped through that door. She'd sleep a half a sleep when was not there beside her and only once he had crawled exhaustedly back into bed, folding his arm around her, would she descend into blissful obliviousness.

He was her peace and he was her home and she wished Yaaseen would find that one day.

"Layla."

She looked up, surprised to find him waiting for her to look up at him. She hadn't even heard him come in. "Ya?"

"Where were you lost?" he smiled, amused at how long it took for her to realise that he had been there in front of her for almost 5 minutes before he decided to call out for her.

"Nowhere." She shook her head, looking back down at her recipe book before reaching above their table for the chopping board they had stowed away. "Just thinking."

"I see that..." he mused, watching her totter around the kitchen in her flip flops and shorts. He loved looking at her legs- they were slim and toned and they spoke of hours and hours of working out while he was at work.

He loved it even more that it was all only for him...

"When did you get in, anyway?"

"Just now." He leaned against the doorway, watching her. It was odd how they balanced each other out. He was the calm to her storm and he loved her for it. "I got your jewellery from the bank. Can I get it weighed tomorrow?"