Dark Desires

7

I promised myself and Bell that I would get out before things got worse, got out of hand, but we both know that didn't happen.

Weeks went by.

Finally a month or two.

By now what we had was nowhere near romance, it was just a dark desire.

Our love making - if you could call it that - was more physical abuse and roughness....and hell, I loved it.

But I knew you were getting bored.

I saw the way you looked at other girls when we went out.

So, I didn't cry, not really, when I woke up and you were gone.

The place was swarming with police, and it had been they who had woken me.

You and your goons had gone, ditched me.

I was torn.

Part of me knew it was for the better.

Yet the other part wanted you back, needed you back.

You'd done something to me, changed me into something dark and depressing.

I needed sex - preferably from you - so badly, that I nearly went into prostitution.

All because of you.

But Bell came back.

She saved me, she helped me to the light.

She showed me how wrong you were, and it seemed as if I was seeing you in the papers, or on the news a lot.

Or maybe some girl giving a description of you, and how you'd changed them.

But I'm done now.

I'm living in the present, living in your house, with your goons.

They took me in once I was better, said they would have helped if it hadn't been for you.

Maybe you being in jail for life is for the better.

I'll send you this letter as soon as I'm ready, as soon as I can face the pain and desire that your presence brings, that your name brings.

So I'll say it.  Say your name.

Zane Webster, leader of the Skull King gang. 

Well, ex-leader now that you're gone.

I hope you have a bad life....but then again, I hope you have a good one.

So as I bring this letter to a close, I want you to know that I hate you and never want to see you again....

But if you write to me, I won't be able to stop myself from writing back, and coming to see you.

Choose wisely.

- Jess King