Reload [Nier: Automata Fanfic]

Chapter 3

9S stares at the nine candles in front of him. He wanted to feel guilty, but instead, he was intrigued. Thrilled, almost. He had never thought he could partake in such a ritual. Nine candles– how fitting.

But what to wish? What could he want? 9S scoffs silently to himself. Science has long proven that the wish would not be granted. So, it didn't matter what he wished for, right?

He blows the fire away. His Family around him cheered. Eve pats him on the back and Adam fingers a bit of frosting into his mouth.

He had wished for forgiveness. He failed 2B, Operator 21O– everyone. He had stolen the life of an innocent. He didn't deserve forgiveness, but it wasn't like he was actually going to receive it anyway.

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9S had many Birthdays from then on. He'd have one every year like all humans did. The first few times, he was delighted! Oh, how exciting it was- especially since every year it was always different. But as the years come- year after year- the growing guilt inside him becomes not unlike to an itch that he can't scratch. It becomes a horror whenever it was his birthday- a gnawing, hungry pit that twists his insides. He wants to ask them to stop please stop holding parties for me this isn't for me and never will- But he never said any of those thoughts out loud. Every time it was his Birthday, 9S smiled and said thank you's.

9S had made friends along the way. People started to know him and he started to know them. 9S always liked interacting and socialising– he was often told he never knew when to shut up– but the downside to having friends was that they were invited whenever it was his Birthday. Those people are celebrating a dead child's birthday. They don't even know he's dead. It feels deceitful.

What was the most shocking was the fact that 9S had grown close to Adam and Eve. From anyone else's point of view, the three of them might have seemed like best friends. Perhaps they were. Did Adam and Even think of 9S as their best friend? It... was an odd thought.

Just like with Ventuna and Operator 21O– 9S started seeing more differences between the Adam and Eve that were Machines and the Adam and Eve that were humans. The Adam of this world was a genius in his own right. Both Adams hold a thirst for knowledge, but this world's Adam lacked the obsession of humanity and desire to be alike to humans. Instead, he was most interested in being different from the masses. He wanted to be an individual. Just like before, 9S didn't understand Adam.

Eve, although mute, was extremely expressive. 9S had learned how to do sign-language to communicate with him and 9S had found out some interesting things. Apparently, Eve wasn't always mute. An accident happened and now he is unable to speak. When 9S asked what that accident was, Eve simply signed, 'I had to protect my brother.' Much like Machine Eve, Human Eve was physically stronger than Adam. He didn't have the same odd interests Adam had, Eve just wanted to be with his brother. Eve was a lot easier to talk to than Adam.

Ventuna, as time flies, starts to resemble Operator 21O even more, which makes sense. Operator 21O was an adult and now Ventuna is 19 years old. The small signs of familial affection he saw in Operator 21O is openly displayed in Ventuna. Ventuna has matured greatly, thus changing 9S' perspective. He used to think of Ventuna as someone who looked like Operator 21O but acted completely opposite– like a child– however now that their personalities have become more alike, it became harder to differentiate the two. This is what Operator 21O could've been. 9S doesn't see Ventuna as often anymore. She's at University. If 9S remembers right, she is studying Tourism.

("Don't worry, Nines!" Ventuna smiled brightly, luggage already in the car. "I'll come to visit whenever I can."

9S smiled thinly. He can't deny that he has grown fond of Ventuna. She's like a big sister he never had. "I know."