Hot Potato: A Screwball Romantic Comedy Novella

Chapter 11

        Back in St. Mark’s Square Susan and Walter hurried towards St. Mark’s Basilica.

      “Your brother’s pretty high up, isn’t he?”

     “Why?”

     “For Lida and Peter.  I want to adopt them and take them back to the States with me.”

     Susan looked at his face.  He seemed serious.  She said, “A single father with no visible means of support?  You won’t be allowed to adopt.”

     He smiled at her.  “It would be easier as a couple.”

     “A couple?”

    “You know, a woman and a man.”

    She stopped walking and he took her hand and tugged her forward with him.

    “Do you have anyone in mind?” she said.

    “Maybe a woman from Saudi Arabia.  Subservient, doesn’t speak unless spoken to.  Anticipates my every desire.”

    She tried to remove her hand from his hand, but he kept hold of her. 

    “You mean someone like this?” she said.

     She grabbed him with her one free hand, pulled her to him, and kissed him.

    Walter broke away when he needed air.  “Yea, that might do,” he said.

    Now they dashed up the steps of St. Mark’s Basilica together.

    “You handle yourself pretty well in a crisis – for a con man, that is,” Susan said.

    “Entrepreneur.”  He smiled.  “You’re a pretty decent person – for an arms merchant, that is.”

    “Field sales support engineer,” she said.

    Inside the crowds of tourists swirled through the church, led by guides speaking in many languages.  Susan and Walter strode towards the choir screen, checking each group they passed.

    Susan spotted a small figure standing at the back of a group right in front of the carving of the Apostles on the top of the choir screen, a stroller stuck out at an angle.

    Susan and Walter rushed up to Lida and hugged her.  The baby gurgled at them, and Walter reached down and unbuckled Peter and lifted him up.

    “I knew you’d find us – if you wanted to,” Lida said.

    “You and Peter are our family,” Walter said.

    He put his free arm around Lida so that she was held by both adults.

    “I’ve made a decision,” Walter said.

    Susan cut in.  “We’ve decided.  Together we’re going to adopt you and Peter.”

    “If you want us,” Walter said.

    Lida threw her arms around both adults.  Then she leaned over Peter in Walter’s arms and spoke to the baby.

    “Peter, we have a real muti and vati.”

     Lida looked up at Susan.  “We were just pretending before.”

    Susan laughed and led them towards the exit.

    “I haven’t got any money,” Walter said.

    “I’ll advance you a few hundred Euro,” Susan said.

   “Advance?  Against what?”

    “The reward for returning the weapon.”

    “How much?”

    “One hundred thousand dollars.”

    Walter smiled.  “A hundred thousand dollars.  Say, maybe we could do something with that.”

   “Walter!” Susan said.

    “There’s always Hercules,” Walter said.

    “Walter, don’t tell me you’re trying to sell some Hercules missiles!”

    “No, my action figures!  I got a container load I can afford to get out of Polish customs now.  I need a Russian agent.  Of course, we know plenty of them – Russian agents, I mean.”

    Susan and Lida said at the same time, “Walter!”