Surviving Cancer

Monday, January 15

"If you slip it into neutral it helps stop you from sliding as much." He explained. "You can open your eyes now too."

I cracked my eyes open, looking from the windshield over to Jared. He still looked calm as could be. I think I almost pissed myself.

"I'm never going to survive driving the rest of the winter." I commented.

Jared laughed as he pulled into a parking space. "Yeah you are bit stressed about it."

"At least Maci isn't ever with me. How stupid would it be if she survived cancer and then died in a car accident?" I said.

As soon as the words left my mouth I winced. How could I be so insensitive? What if he took offense to it. Especially today of all days, being the anniversary of the accident and what not.

"For sure." He tossed me my keys, seemingly unphased by my tactless comment. "If you ever want a ride I can pick you up. You guys live on my way."

Jared just looked over at me, completely sincere in his offer. I was having a hard time remembering why I hadn't liked him?

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MACI POV

I looked up from my guitar hearing my door click. It was the middle of the day, my mom had stopped by earlier with plans to come back by with Levi for dinner. My dad had to go into work. Levi was in school. There was no one else it could be and I doubted it was my doctor. He had just stopped in a half hour ago and a nurse had followed shortly after. I stuck my pic in my mouth and waited for them to appear around the corner.

As soon as I saw his head poke around the corner I was tossing my guitar to the side. I jumped off the bed, my pic falling out of my mouth as I crossed the room in a few short steps. I threw myself into Jared's arms without a moments hesitation. As soon as my body hit his, he had his arms wrapped around me. I pressed my face into his jacket, it was still cold from outside but I didn't care. He was here.

"Hi." He said, his breath warm against my barely existing hair.

"I can't believe you're here." I said, squeezing him tighter.

"I missed you."

Neither of us moved. I knew I missed him. But I didn't realize exactly how much. We texted everyday and we FaceTimed almost every day. But having him there in person, being able to touch and smell him. It was everything.

"Not that I'm complaining." I said my face still pressed against his chest. "But how are you here?"

"Your brother and I skipped school."

I pulled back, looking up at him to see if he was serious.

"He's in the waiting room." He added.

"You guys are friends now?" I asked.

He released me, shrugging out of his coat. He had a gray hoodie on that said Trent Construction. He laced his fingers with mine, taking a seat on my bed and pulling me between his legs. He wrapped his arms around me again, his faced pressed to my stomach.

"Getting there I guess." He mumbled.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I started running my fingers through his messy blond hair. He didn't say anything else and neither did I. I just kept playing with his hair, thankful he was there. Content just to be near him. He was so still and quiet against me, apparently just as content.

"My dad was going to let you come visit later in the week." I said after several minutes.

"I couldn't wait." His voice was low and quiet.

"I'm glad you didn't." I said.

He went back to being silent and I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. He was usually much more talkative, more alive. I fought with myself for several minutes on whether I should ask.

"Today's a rough day." Jared offered up before I had officially decided to ask.

"What's wrong?" My voice was gentle and soft. 

I didn't want him to shut down before he told me.  I kept as still as possible, my fingers still running through his hair. It took him several minutes before he spoke again. So long that I thought he wasn't going to tell me.

"Matt died today."

His voice was low and thick like he might let some tears falls. I squeezed my arms around him unsure of what to say. 'I'm sorry' didn't seem like quite enough. So I just stayed there, quietly. He pulled away, looking up at me after minutes of silence. I placed my hands on either side of his face and kissed his forehead. It was all I could think of to do to comfort him.

"I'm sorry." I said anyway.

He shrugged, lacing his fingers with mine. "Let's not talk about it anymore."

I sat down on the bed next to him, our hands together.

"I probably shouldn't kiss you huh?" He asked.

I tried to hold back my smile, not wanting to seem like I'd already forgotten his pain.

"Probably not." I answered.

"Bummer." He smiled, raising my hand to his lips.

I leaned into him, closing my eyes.  Jared ran his fingers against my hand.

"I'm happy you're here." I mumbled.

"Me too." I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I love you."

I smiled, my heart jumping in my chest. "I love you too."

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I'm curious as to how you all feel about Jared and Levi's budding friendship. I love it. Even though I know where this story is headed I've always left a lot of the specifics to develop over time. For instance, I never meant for Skylar and Jared to reconnect, Levi was supposed to date Bailey not Emma, this is the big shocker, Maci was supposed to stay with Skylar. Clearly all of those things changed on their own and for the good! I never planned for Jared and Levi to grow closer but I think it's awesome. Thoughts? -DBR